The Caxtons, Part 15
E >>
Edward Bulwer Lytton >> The Caxtons, Part 15
But Roland's limbs trembled and refused to stir; his head, relaxing,
drooped on his breast, his eyes closed. Even Lord Castleton was so
struck (though unable to guess the true and terrible cause of his
dejection) that he forgot his desire to hasten from the spot, and cried
with all his kindliness of heart, "You are ill, you faint; give him your
arm, Pisistratus."
"It is nothing," said Roland, feebly, as he leaned heavily on my arm
while I turned back my head, with all the bitterness of that reproach
which filled my heart speaking in the eyes that sought him whose place
should have been where mine now was. And oh!--thank Heaven, thank
Heaven!--the look was not in vain. In the same moment the son was at
the father's knees.
"Oh, pardon, pardon! Wretch, lost wretch though I be, I bow my head to
the curse. Let it fall,--but on me, and on me only; not on your own
heart too."
Fanny burst into tears, sobbing out, "Forgive him, as I do."
Roland did not heed her.
"He thinks that the heart was not shattered before the curse could
come," he said, in a voice so weak as to be scarcely audible. Then,
raising his eyes to heaven, his lips moved as if he prayed inly.
Pausing, he stretched his hands over his son's head, and averting his
face, said, "I revoke the curse. Pray to thy God for pardon."
Perhaps not daring to trust himself further, he then made a violent
effort and hurried from the room.
We followed silently. When we gained the end of the passage, the door
of the room we had left closed with a sullen jar.
As the sound smote on my ear, with it came so terrible a sense of the
solitude upon which that door had closed, so keen and quick an
apprehension of some fearful impulse, suggested by passions so fierce to
a condition so forlorn, that instinctively I stopped, and then hurried
back to the chamber. The lock of the door having been previously
forced, there was no barrier to oppose my entrance. I advanced, and
beheld a spectacle of such agony as can only be conceived by those who
have looked on the grief which takes no fortitude from reason, no
consolation from conscience,--the grief which tells us what would be the
earth were man abandoned to his passions, and the Chance of the atheist
reigned alone in the merciless heavens. Pride humbled to the dust;
ambition shivered into fragments; love (or the passion mistaken for it)
blasted into ashes; life, at the first onset, bereaved of its holiest
ties, forsaken by its truest guide; shame that writhed for revenge; and
remorse that knew not prayer,--all, all blended, yet distinct, were in
that awful spectacle of the guilty son.
And I had told but twenty years, and my heart had been mellowed in the
tender sunshine of a happy home, and I had loved this boy as a stranger;
and lo, he was Roland's son! I forgot all else, looking upon that
anguish; and I threw myself on the ground by the form that writhed
there, and folding my arms round the breast which in vain repelled me, I
whispered, "Comfort, comfort: life is long. You shall redeem the past,
you shall efface the stain, and your father shall bless you yet!"
CHAPTER II.
I could not stay long with my unhappy cousin, but still I stayed long
enough to make me think it probable that Lord Castleton's carriage would
have left the inn; and when, as I passed the hall, I saw it standing
before the open door, I was seized with fear for Roland,--his emotions
might have ended in some physical attack. Nor were those fears without
foundation. I found Fanny kneeling beside the old soldier in the parlor
where we had seen the two women, and bathing his temples, while Lord
Castleton was binding his arm; and the marquis's favorite valet, who,
amongst his other gifts, was something of a surgeon, was wiping the
blade of the penknife that had served instead of a lancet. Lord
Castleton nodded to me. "Don't be uneasy,--a little fainting fit; we
have bled him. He is safe now,--see, he is recovering." Roland's eyes,
as they opened, turned to me with an anxious, inquiring look. I smiled
upon him as I kissed his forehead, and could, with a safe conscience,
whisper words which neither father nor Christian could refuse to receive
as comfort.
In a few minutes more we had left the house. As Lord Castleton's
carriage only held two, the marquis, having assisted Miss Trevanion and
Roland to enter, quietly mounted the seat behind and made a sign to me
to come by his side, for there was room for both. (His servant had
taken one of the horses that had brought thither Roland and myself, and
already gone on before.) No conversation took place between us then.
Lord Castleton seemed profoundly affected, and I had no words at my
command.
When we reached the inn at which Lord Castleton had changed horses,
about six miles distant, the marquis insisted on Fanny's taking some
rest for a few hours; for indeed she was thoroughly worn out.
I attended my uncle to his room; but he only answered my assurances of
his son's repentance with a pressure of the hand, and then, gliding from
me, went into the farthest recess of the room and there knelt down.
When he rose, he was passive and tractable as a child. He suffered me
to assist him to undress; and when he had lain down on the bed, he
turned his face quietly from the light, and after a few heavy sighs,
sleep seemed mercifully to steal upon him. I listened to his breathing
till it grew low and regular, and then descended to the sitting-room in
which I had left Lord Castleton, for he had asked me in a whisper to
seek him there.
I found the marquis seated by the fire, in a thoughtful and dejected
attitude.
"I am glad you are come," said he, making room for me on the hearth,
"for I assure you I have not felt so mournful for many years; we have
much to explain to each other. Will you begin? They say the sound of
the bell dissipates the thunder-cloud; and there is nothing like the
voice of a frank, honest nature to dispel all the clouds that come upon
us when we think of our own faults and the villany of others. But I beg
you a thousand pardons: that young man your relation,--your brave
uncle's son? Is it possible?"
My explanations to Lord Castleton were necessarily brief and imperfect.
The separation between Roland and his son; my ignorance of its cause; my
belief in the death of the latter; my chance acquaintance with the
supposed Vivian; the interest I took in him; the relief it was to the
fears for his fate with which he inspired me, to think he had returned
to the home I ascribed to him; and the circumstances which had induced
my suspicions, justified by the result,--all this was soon hurried over.
"But I beg your pardon," said the marquis, interrupting me "did you, in
your friendship for one so unlike you, even by your own partial account,
never suspect that you had stumbled upon your lost cousin?"
"Such an idea never could have crossed me."
And here I must observe that though the reader, at the first
introduction of Vivian, would divine the secret, the penetration of a
reader is wholly different from that of the actor in events. That I had
chanced on one of those curious coincidences in the romance of real life
which a reader looks out for and expects in following the course of
narrative, was a supposition forbidden to me by a variety of causes.
There was not the least family resemblance between Vivian and any of his
relations; and, somehow or other, in Roland's son I had pictured to
myself a form and a character wholly different from Vivian's. To me it
would have seemed impossible that my cousin could have been so little
curious to hear any of our joint family affairs; been so unheedful, or
even weary, if I spoke of Roland,--never, by a word or tone, have
betrayed a sympathy with his kindred. And my other conjecture was so
probable,--son of the Colonel Vivian whose name he bore. And that
letter, with the post-mark of "Godalming," and my belief, too, in my
cousin's death,--even now I am not surprised that the idea never
occurred to me.
I paused from enumerating these excuses for my dulness, angry with
myself, for I noticed that Lord Castleton's fair brow darkened; and he
exclaimed, "What deceit he must have gone through before he could become
such a master in the art!"
That is true, and I cannot deny it," said I. "But his punishment now is
awful; let us hope that repentance may follow the chastisement. And
though certainly it must have been his own fault that drove him from his
father's home and guidance, yet, so driven, let us make some allowance
for the influence of evil companionship on one so young,--for the
suspicions that the knowledge of evil produces, and turns into a kind of
false knowledge of the world. And in this last and worst of all his
actions--"
"Ah, how justify that?"
"Justify it? Good Heavens! Justify it? No. I only say this, strange
as it may seem, that I believe his affection for Miss Trevanion was for
herself,--so he says, from the depth of an anguish in which the most
insincere of men would cease to feign. But no more of this; she is
saved, thank Heaven!"
"And you believe," said Lord Castleton, musingly, "that he spoke the
truth when he thought that I--" The marquis stopped, cowered slightly,
and then went on. "But no; Lady Ellinor and Trevanion, whatever might
have been in their thoughts, would never have so forgot their dignity as
to take him, a youth, almost a stranger,--nay, take any one into their
confidence on such a subject."
"It was but by broken gasps, incoherent, disconnected words, that
Vivian--I mean my cousin--gave me any explanation of this. But Lady N--,
at whose house he was staying, appears to have entertained such a
notion, or at least led my cousin to think so."
"Ah! that is possible," said Lord Castleton, with a look of relief.
"Lady N-- and I were boy and girl together; we correspond; she has
written to me suggesting that--Ah! I see,--an indiscreet woman. Hum!
this comes of lady correspondents!"
Lord Castleton had recourse to the Beaudesert mixture; and then, as if
eager to change the subject, began his own explanation. On receiving my
letter, he saw even more cause to suspect a snare than I had done, for
he had that morning received a letter from Trevanion, not mentioning a
word about his illness; and on turning to the newspaper, and seeing a
paragraph headed, "Sudden and alarming illness of Mr. Trevanion," the
marquis had suspected some party manoeuvre or unfeeling hoax, since the
mail that had brought the letter must have travelled as quickly as any
messenger who had given the information to the newspaper. He had,
however, immediately sent down to the office of the journal to inquire
on what authority the paragraph had been inserted, while he despatched
another messenger to St. James's Square. The reply from the office was
that the message had been brought by a servant in Mr. Trevanion's
livery, but was not admitted as news until it had been ascertained by
inquiries at the minister's house that Lady Ellinor had received the
same intelligence, and actually left town in consequence.
"I was extremely sorry for poor Lady Ellinor's uneasiness," said Lord
Castleton, "and extremely puzzled; but I still thought there could be no
real ground for alarm until your letter reached me. And when you there
stated your conviction that Mr. Gower was mixed up in this fable, and
that it concealed some snare upon Fanny, I saw the thing at a glance.
The road to Lord N--'s, till within the last stage or two, would be the
road to Scotland. And a hardy and unscrupulous adventurer, with the
assistance of Miss Trevanion's servants, might thus entrap her to
Scotland itself, and there work on her fears, or if he had hope in her
affections, entrap her into consent to a Scotch marriage. You may be
sure, therefore, that I was on the road as soon as possible. But as
your messenger came all the way from the City, and not so quickly
perhaps as he might have come; and then as there was the carriage to see
to, and the horses to send for,--I found myself more than an hour and a
half behind you. Fortunately, however, I made good ground, and should
probably have overtaken you half-way, but that, on passing between a
ditch and wagon, the carriage was upset, and that somewhat delayed me.
On arriving at the town where the road branched off to Lord N--'s, I was
rejoiced to learn you had taken what I was sure would prove the right
direction; and finally I gained the clew to that villanous inn, by the
report of the post-boys who had taken Miss Trevanion's carriage there,
and met you on the road. On reaching the inn I found two fellows
conferring outside the door. They sprang in as we drove up, but not
before my servant Summers--a quick fellow, you know, who has travelled
with me from Norway to Nubia--had quitted his seat and got into the
house, into which I followed him with a step, you dog, as active as your
own! Egad! I was twenty-one then! Two fellows had already knocked
down poor Summers, and showed plenty of fight. Do you know," said the
marquis, interrupting himself with an air of serio-comic humiliation--
"do you know that I actually--no, you never will believe it; mind, 't is
a secret--actually broke my cane over one fellows shoulders? Look!"
(and the marquis held up the fragment of the lamented weapon). "And I
half suspect, but I can't say positively, that I had even the necessity
to demean myself by a blow with the naked hand,--clenched too! Quite
Eton again; upon my honor it was! Ha, ha!"
And the marquis--whose magnificent proportions, in the full vigor of
man's strongest, if not his most combative, age, would have made him a
formidable antagonist even to a couple of prize-fighters, supposing he
had retained a little of Eton skill in such encounters--laughed with the
glee of a schoolboy, whether at the thought of his prowess; or his sense
of the contrast between so rude a recourse to primitive warfare, and his
own indolent habits and almost feminine good temper. Composing himself,
however, with the quick recollection how little I could share his
hilarity, he resumed gravely, "It took us some time, I don't say to
defeat our foes, but to bind them, which I thought a necessary
precaution; one fellow, Trevanion's servant, all the while stunning me
with quotations from Shakspeare. I then gently laid hold of a gown, the
bearer of which had been long trying to scratch me, but being, luckily,
a small woman, had not succeeded in reaching to my eyes. But the gown
escaped, and fluttered off to the kitchen. I followed, and there I
found Miss Trevanion's Jezebel of a maid. She was terribly frightened,
and affected to be extremely penitent. I own to you that I don't care
what a man says in the way of slander, but a woman's tongue against
another woman,--especially if that tongue be in the mouth of a lady's
lady,--I think it always worth silencing; I therefore consented to
pardon this woman on condition she would find her way here before
morning. No scandal shall come from her. Thus you see some minutes
elapsed before I joined you; but I minded that the less as I heard you
and the Captain were already in the room with Miss Trevanion. And not,
alas! dreaming of your connection with the culprit, I was wondering what
could have delayed you so long,--afraid, I own it, to find that Miss
Trevanion's heart might have been seduced by that--hem, hem!--handsome--
young--hem, hem--There's no fear of that?" added Lord Castleton,
anxiously, as he bent his bright eyes upon mine.
I felt myself color as I answered firmly, "It is just to Miss Trevanion
to add that the unhappy man owned, in her presence and in shine, that he
had never had the slightest encouragement for his attempt,--never one
cause to believe that she approved the affection which, I try to think,
blinded and maddened himself."
"I believe you; for I think--" Lord Castleton paused uneasily, again
looked at me, rose, and walked about the room with evident agitation;
then, as if he had come to some resolution, he returned to the hearth
and stood facing me.
"My dear young friend," said he, with his irresistible kindly frankness,
"this is an occasion that excuses all things between us, even my
impertinence. Your conduct from first to last has been such that I
wish, from the bottom of my heart, that I had a daughter to offer you,
and that you felt for her as I believe you feel for Miss Trevanion.
These are not mere words; do not look down as if ashamed. All the
marquisates in the world would never give me the pride I should feel if
I could see in my life one steady self-sacrifice to duty and honor equal
to that which I have witnessed in you."
"Oh, my lord! my lord!"
"Hear me out. That you love Fanny Trevanion I know; that she may have
innocently, timidly, half-unconsciously, returned that affection, I
think probable. But--"
"I know what you would say; spare me,--I know it all."
"No! it is a thing impossible; and if Lady Ellinor could consent, there
would be such a life-long regret on her part, such a weight of
obligation on yours, that--No, I repeat, it is impossible! But let us
both think of this poor girl. I know her better than you can,--have
known her from a child; know all her virtues,--they are charming; all
her faults,--they expose her to danger. These parents of hers, with
their genius and ambition, may do very well to rule England and
influence the world; but to guide the fate of that child--no!" Lord
Castleton stopped, for he was affected. I felt my old jealousy return,
but it was no longer bitter.
"I say nothing," continued the marquis, "of this position, in which,
without fault of hers, Miss Trevanion is placed: Lady Ellinor's
knowledge of the world, and woman's wit, will see how all that can be
best put right. Still, it is awkward, and demands much consideration.
But putting this aside altogether, if you do firmly believe that Miss
Trevanion is lost to you, can you bear to think that she is to be flung
as a mere cipher into the account of the worldly greatness of an
aspiring politician,--married to some minister too busy to watch over
her, or some duke who looks to pay off his mortgages with her fortune;
minister or duke only regarded as a prop to Trevanion's power against a
counter-cabal, or as giving his section a preponderance in the cabinet?
Be assured such is her most likely destiny, or rather the beginning of a
destiny yet more mournful. Now, I tell you this, that he who marries
Fanny Trevanion should have little other object, for the first few years
of marriage, than to correct her failings and develop her virtues.
Believe one who, alas! has too dearly bought his knowledge of woman,--
hers is a character to be formed. Well, then, if this prize be lost to
you, would it be an irreparable grief to your generous affection to
think that it has fallen to the lot of one who at least knows his
responsibilities, and--who will redeem his own life, hitherto wasted, by
the steadfast endeavor to fulfil them? Can you take this hand still,
and press it, even though it be a rival's?"
"My lord! this from you to me is an honor that--"
"You will not take my hand? Then, believe me, it is not I that will
give that grief to your heart."
Touched, penetrated, melted, by this generosity in a man of such lofty
claims, to one of my age and fortunes, I pressed that noble hand, half
raising it to my lips,--an action of respect that would have misbecome
neither; but he gently withdrew the hand, in the instinct of his natural
modesty. I had then no heart to speak further on such a subject, but
faltering out that I would go and see my uncle, I took up the light and
ascended the stairs. I crept noiselessly into Roland's room, and
shading the light, saw that, though he slept, his face was very
troubled. And then I thought, "What are my young griefs to his?" and
sitting beside the bed, communed with my own heart and was still.
CHAPTER III.
At sunrise I went down into the sitting-room, having resolved to write
to my father to join us; for I felt how much Roland needed his comfort
and his counsel, and it was no great distance from the old Tower. I was
surprised to find Lord Castleton still seated by the fire; he had
evidently not gone to bed.
"That's right," said he; "we must encourage each other to recruit
nature;" and he pointed to the breakfast-things on the table.
I had scarcely tasted food for many hours, but I was only aware of my
own hunger by a sensation of faintness. I ate unconsciously, and was
almost ashamed to feel how much the food restored me.
"I suppose," said I, "that you will soon set off to Lord N--'s?"
"Nay, did I not tell you that I have sent Summers express, with a note
to Lady Ellinor begging her to come here? I did not see, on reflection,
how I could decorously accompany Miss Trevanion alone, without even a
female servant, to a house full of gossiping guests. And even had your
uncle been well enough to go with us, his presence would but have
created an additional cause for wonder; so as soon as we arrived, and
while you went up with the Captain, I wrote my letter and despatched my
man. I expect Lady Ellinor will be here before nine o'clock. Meanwhile
I have already seen that infamous waiting-woman, and taken care to
prevent any danger from her garrulity. And you will be pleased to hear
that I have hit upon a mode of satisfying the curiosity of our friend
Mrs. Grundy--that is,'the World'--without injury to any one. We must
suppose that that footman of Trevanion's was out of his mind,--it is but
a charitable, and your good father would say a philosophical,
supposition. All great knavery is madness! The world could not get on
if truth and goodness were not the natural tendencies of sane minds. Do
you understand?"
"Not quite."
"Why, the footman, being out of his mind, invented this mad story of
Trevanion's illness, frightened Lady Ellinor and Miss Trevanion out of
their wits with his own chimera, and hurried them both off, one after
the other. I, having heard from Trevanion, and knowing he could not
have been ill when the servant left him, set off, as was natural in so
old a friend of the family, saved her from the freaks of a maniac,--who,
getting more and more flighty, was beginning to play the Jack o'
Lantern, and leading her, Heaven knows where, over the country,--and
then wrote to Lady Ellinor to come to her. It is but a hearty laugh at
our expense, and Mrs. Grundy is content. If you don't want her to pity
or backbite, let her laugh. She is a she-Cerberus,--she wants to eat
you; well stop her mouth with a cake.
"Yes," continued this better sort of Aristippus, so wise under all his
seeming levities, "the cue thus given, everything favors it. If that
rogue of a lackey quoted Shakspeare as much in the servants' hall as he
did while I was binding him neck and heels in the kitchen, that's enough
for all the household to declare he was moon-stricken; and if we find it
necessary to do anything more, why, we must induce him to go into Bedlam
for a month or two. The disappearance of the waiting-woman is natural;
either I or Lady Ellinor send her about her business for her folly in
being so gulled by the lunatic. If that's unjust, why, injustice to
servants is common enough, public and private; neither minister nor
lackey can be forgiven if he help us into a scrape. One must vent one's
passion on something. Witness my poor cane,--though, indeed, a better
illustration would be the cane that Louis XIV. broke on a footman
because his Majesty was out of humor with the prince, whose shoulders
were too sacred for royal indignation."
"So you see," concluded Lord Castleton, lowering his voice, "that your
uncle, amongst all his other causes of sorrow, may think at least that
his name is spared in his son's. And the young man himself may find
reform easier when freed from that despair of the possibility of
redemption which Mrs. Grundy inflicts upon those who--Courage, then;
life is long!"
"My very words!" I cried; "and so repeated by you, Lord Castleton, they
seem prophetic."
"Take my advice, and don't lose sight of your cousin while his pride is
yet humbled, and his heart perhaps softened. I don't say this only for
his sake. No, it is your poor uncle I think of,--noble old fellow! And
now I think it right to pay Lady Ellinor the respect of repairing, as
well as I can, the havoc three sleepless nights have made on the
exterior of a gentleman who is on the shady side of remorseless forty."
Lord Castleton here left me, and I wrote to my father, begging him to
meet us at the next stage (which was the nearest point from the high
road to the Tower), and I sent off the letter by a messenger on
horseback. That task done, I leaned my head upon my hand, and a
profound sadness settled upon me, despite all my efforts to face the
future and think only of the duties of life--not its sorrows.
CHAPTER IV.
Before nine o'clock Lady Ellinor arrived, and went straight into Miss
Trevanion's room; I took refuge in my uncle's. Roland was awake and
calm, but so feeble that he made no effort to rise; and it was his calm,
indeed, that alarmed me the most,--it was like the calm of nature
thoroughly exhausted. He obeyed me mechanically, as a patient takes
from your hand the draught, of which he is almost unconscious, when I
pressed him to take food. He smiled on me faintly when I spoke to him,
but made me a sign that seemed to implore silence. Then he turned his
face from me and buried it in the pillow; and I thought that he slept
again, when, raising himself a little, and feeling for my hand, he said,
in a scarcely audible voice,--