Amphitryon
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CLE. Yes; she is thoroughly upset and wishes to be left alone: she
has forbidden me to follow her.
JUP. Whatever prohibition she may have given you does not concern me.
CLE. So far as I can see, his grief has beaten a quick retreat.
SCENE V
CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
SOS. What do you say, Cleanthis, to these cheerful looks, after his
terrible rage?
CLE. That we should all do well to send all men to the devil; the
best of them is not worth much.
SOS. You say that because you are in a passion; but you are too fond
of men; upon my word, you would all look as black as thunder if the
devil were to take them all away.
CLE. Really . . .
SOS. Here they come. Hush.
SCENE VI
JUPITER, ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
JUP. Do you want to drive me to despair? Alas! Stay, lovely Alcmene.
ALC. No, I cannot remain longer with the author of my grief.
JUP. I beseech you
ALC. Leave me.
JUP. What . . .?
ALC. Leave me, I tell you.
JUP. Her tears touch me to the heart; her sorrow troubles me. Allow me to
ALC. No, do not follow me,
JUP. Where are you going?
ALC. Where you are not.
JUP. That would be a vain attempt to make. I am linked to your
beauty by too close a bond to suffer a moment's separation from you.
I shall follow you everywhere, Alcmene.
ALC. And I shall flee from you everywhere.
JUP. I am very terrible, then!
ALC. Yes, more than I can say. Indeed, I look upon you as a
frightful monster, a cruel, furious monster, whose approach is to be
feared; as a monster to be avoided everywhere. My heart suffers
incredible grief at the sight of you; it is a torture that
overpowers me; I do not know anything under Heaven so frightful,
horrible and odious, that I could not better endure than you.
JUP. Alas! Do these words really come from your mouth?
ALC. I have many more in my heart; I only regret I cannot find words
to express all I feel.
JUP. Ah! What has my heart done to you, Alcmene, that I should be
looked upon as such a monster?
ALC. Oh! Just Heaven! He can ask that? Is it not enough to drive me mad?
JUP. Yet, in a milder spirit . . .
ALC. No; I do not wish either to see or to hear anything of you.
JUP. Have you really the heart to treat me thus? Is this the tender
love which I heard yesterday was to last so long?
ALC. No, no, it is not; your base insults have ordained it
otherwise. That passionate and tender love does not exist any
longer; you have cruelly killed it in my heart by a hundred keen
wounds. In its place stands an inflexible wrath, a lively
resentment, an invincible indignation, the despair of a heart justly
incensed, which resolves to hate you for this grievous injury, as
much as it was willing to love you; that is to say to hate as much as possible.
JUP. Alas! Your love must have had but little strength, if it can be
killed by so slight a matter! Can a jest divorce us? Is there any
need to be so roused at a trifle?
ALC. Ah! It is just that which offends me: that which my anger
cannot pardon. I should have felt less wounded by the justifiable
transports of a fit of jealousy. Jealousy makes impressions the
force of which oftentimes carries us beyond our control; at such
times the most discreet mind, no doubt, finds it difficult enough to
answer for its deeds. The violence of a heart which may have been
deluded has, in its very delusion, a peace-offering for an aggrieved
soul, and the love that gave birth to its fears, furnishes, in spite
of all its violence, at least some reasons to urge as excuse.
Outbursts such as these ever have love as an excuse against anger:
for love gave birth to them, and we can easily pardon what we cannot control.
But to fly into uncontrollable fury, in gaiety of heart, and so
causelessly and keenly to wound the tenderness and honour of a heart
that dearly loves you, ah! It is too cruel a blow: my grief can
never forget it.
JUP. Yes, you are right, Alcmene; I admit it. This action is
unquestionably an odious crime; I do not pretend to justify it
longer: yet allow my heart to defend itself in your eyes, and let it
reveal to you who is to blame for this insulting fury. To tell you
frankly, it is the husband Alcmene, who has done this wrong; it is
the husband whom you must blame. The lover has no share in this
churlish anger: his heart is not capable of offending you. He has
too much respect and affection for you ever to think of it; had he
been guilty of the crime of doing aught that could wound you, he
would pierce himself with a hundred stabs before your eyes. But the
husband has cast aside that humble submission which should always be
yours; by his harsh deeds, the husband has made himself known; he
thought the rights of marriage allowed him everything. Yes, it is he
no doubt who is guilty towards you; he only has ill-treated your
lovely person. Hate, detest the husband; I consent to it; I yield
him to your mercy; but, Alcmene, spare the lover from the anger
which such an offence gives you; do not let him suffer;
differentiate between him and the guilty one; and, finally, in order
to be just, do not punish him for what he has not done.
ALC. Oh! All these subtleties are but frivolous excuses; such
language only annoys incensed minds. In vain do you use these
ridiculous prevarications. I do not make any distinction in him who
offends me; everything in him becomes the object of my anger, the
lover and the husband are alike confounded in its just violence.
Both occupy my thoughts; both are painted in the same colours by my
wounded heart. Both are guilty; both have offended me; and both are
odious to me.
JUP. Well! Then, since you wish it, I must charge myself with the
offence. Yes, you are right, when you sacrifice me as a guilty
victim to your resentment. Anger towards me sways you; it is but too
just, and all the terrible wrath you show causes me to suffer only
lawful torments. It is right you should shun my presence, and in
your anger threaten to flee from me everywhere. I must be a
detestable object to you; you are right in thinking ill of me. My
crime in being offensive in your charming eyes surpasses every
horror; it is a crime that offends men and Gods; in short, as
punishment for my insolence I deserve that your hatred should vent
its utmost upon me. I beg your forgiveness, I beg it upon my knees,
I beg it for the sake of the most lively passion, of the tenderest
love for you, which has ever been kindled in a human breast. If,
charming Alcmene, your heart refuses me the pardon which I have the
audacity to seek, then shall a well-aimed stroke put an end to my
life, and release me from the harsh severity of a penalty which I
can no longer bear. Yes, this state of things drives me to despair.
Do not think, Alcmene, that, enamoured as I am of your celestial
charms, I can live a day under your wrath. Even these moments' agony
is barbarously prolonged and my sad heart sinks under their mortal
blows. The cruel wounds of a thousand vultures are not comparable in
any way to my lively grief. Alcmene, you have but to tell me I need
not hope for pardon: and immediately this sword, by a happy thrust,
shall pierce the heart of a miserable wretch before your eyes. This
heart, this traitorous heart, too deserving of death, since it has
offended an adorable being, will be happy if, in descending into the
place of shades, my death appeases your anger, and, after this
wretched day, it leaves in your soul no impression of hatred in
remembering my love! This is all I ask as a sovereign favour.
ALC. Ah! Cruel husband.
JUP. Speak, Alcmene, speak.
ALC. Must I still keep some kindness for you, who insult me by so
many indignities?
JUP. Whatever resentment an outrage causes us, can it hold out
against the remorse of a heart deeply in love?
ALC. A heart full of passion would rather expose itself to a
thousand deaths, than offend the object beloved.
JUP. The more one loves, the easier it is
ALC. No, do not speak to me any longer about it; you deserve my hatred.
JUP. You hate me then?
ALC. I make every effort to do so, and it annoys me to feel that all
your insults do not yet carry my vengeance so far as yield to it.
JUP. But why this violence, since I offer to kill myself to satisfy
your revenge? Pronounce the sentence and immediately I will obey.
ALC. It is impossible to wish for another's death if hatred be absent.
JUP. I cannot live unless you abandon the wrath that overwhelms me,
and unless you grant me the favour of a pardon which I beg at your
feet. Decide to do one or the other quickly: to punish, or to absolve.
ALC. Alas! The only resolution I can take is but too clearly
apparent. My heart has too plainly betrayed me, for me to wish to
maintain this anger: is it not to say we pardon, when we say we cannot hate?
JUP. Ah, charming Alcmene, overwhelmed with delight I must...
ALC. Forbear: I hate myself for such weakness.
JUP. Go, Sosie, make haste; a sweet joy fills my soul. See what
officers of the army you can find, and ask them to dine with me.
(Softly aside.) Mercury can fill his post, while he is away from here.
SCENE VII
CLEANTHIS, SOSIE
SOS. Come! Now, you see, this couple, Cleanthis. Will you follow
their example, and let us also make peace? Indulge in some slight
reconciliation?
CLE. For the sake of your lovely mug, Oh yes! I will, and no mistake.
SOS. What? You will not?
CLE. No.
SOS. It doesn't matter to me. So much the worse for you.
CLE. Well, well, come back.
SOS. No, not, likely! I shall not do anything of the kind, I shall
be angry. I turn now.
CLE. Go away, you villain, let me alone; one gets tired now and then
of being an honest woman.
END OF THE SECOND ACT
ACT III
SCENE I
AMPHITRYON
Yes, so doubt fate hides him purposely from me; at last am I tired
of trying to find him. I do not know anything that can be more cruel
than my lot. In spite of all my endeavours, I cannot find him whom I
seek; all those I do not seek I find. A thousand tiresome bores, who
do not think they are so, drive me mad with their congratulations on
our feats of arms, although they know little of me. In the cruel
embarrassment and anxiety that troubles me, they all burden me with
their attentions, and their rejoicings make my uneasiness worse. In
vain I try to pass them by, to flee from their persecutions; their
killing friendship stops me on all sides; whilst I reply to the
ardour of their expressions by a nod of the head, I mutter under my
breath a hundred curses on them. Ah! How little we are flattered by
praise, honour and all that a great victory brings, when inwardly we
suffer keen sorrow! How willingly would I exchange all this glory to
have peace of mind! At every turn my jealousy twits me with my
disgrace; the more my mind ponders over it, the less can I unravel
its miserable confusion. The theft of the diamonds does not astonish
me; seals may be tampered with unperceived; but my most cruel
torment is that she insists I gave the gift to her personally
yesterday. Nature oftentimes produces resemblances, which some
impostors have adopted in order to deceive; but it is inconceivable
that, under these appearances, a man should pass himself off as a
husband; there are a thousand differences in a relationship such as
this which a wife could easily detect. The marvellous effects of
Thessalian magic have at all times been renowned; but I have always
looked upon as idle tales the famous stories everyone talks of. It
would be a hard fate if I, after so glorious a victory elsewhere,
should be compelled to believe them at the cost of my own honour. I
will question her again upon this wretched mystery, and see if it is
not a silly fancy that has taken advantage of her disordered brain.
O righteous Heaven, may this thought be true, and may she even have
lost her senses, so that I may be happy!
SCENE II
MERCURY, AMPHITRYON
MERC. Since love does not offer me any pleasure here, I will at
least enjoy myself in another way, and enliven my dismal leisure by
putting Amphitron out of all patience. This may not be very
charitable in a God; but I shall not bother myself about that; my
planet tells me I am somewhat given to malice.
AMPH. How is it that the door is closed at this hour?
MERC. Hullo! Gently, gently! Who knocks?
AMPH. I.
MERC. Who, I?
AMPH. Ah! Open.
MERC. What do you mean by 'open'? Who are you, pray, to make such a
row, and speak like that?
AMPH. So? You do not know me?
MERC. No, nor have I the least wish to.
AMPH. Is every one losing his senses today? Is the malady spreading?
Sosie! Hullo, Sosie!
MERC. Come, now! Sosie: that is my name; are you afraid I shall forget it?
AMPH. Do you see me?
MERC. Well enough. What can possess your arm to make such an uproar?
What do you want down there?
AMPH. I, you gallows-bird! What do I want?
MERC. What do you not want then? Speak, if you want to be understood.
AMPH. Listen, you villain: I will come up with a stick to make you
understand, and give you a fine lesson. How dare you speak to me like that?
MERC. Softly, softly! If you make the least attempt to create an
uproar, I shall send you down some messengers who will annoy you.
AMPH. Oh Heavens! Did anyone ever conceive such insolence? And from
a servant, from a beggar?
MERC. Come, now! What is the matter? Have you gone over everything
correctly? Have your big eyes taken everything in? He glares, so
savage he looks! If looks could bite, he would have torn me to shreds by now.
AMPH. I tremble at what you are bringing upon yourself with all this
impudent talk. What a frightful storm you are brewing for yourself!
What a tempest of blows will storm down on your back!
MERC. If you do not soon disappear from here, my friend, you may
come in for some mauling.
AMPH. Ah! You villain, you shall know to your confusion what it is
for a valet to attack his master.
MERC. You, my master?
AMPH. Yes, rascal. Do you dare to say you do not recognise me?
MERC. I do not recognise any other master than Amphitryon.
AMPH. And who, besides myself, may this Amphitryon be?
MERC. Amphitryon?
AMPH. Certainly.
MERC. Ah! What an illusion! Come, tell me in what decent tavern you
have addled your brain?
AMPH. What? Again?
MERC. Was it a feast-day wine?
AMPH. Heavens!
MERC. Was it old or new?
AMPH. What insults!
MERC. New goes to one's head, if drunk without water.
AMPH. Ah! I shall tear your tongue out soon.
MERC. Pass on, my dear friend; believe me, no one here will listen
to you. I respect wine. Go away, make yourself scarce, and leave
Amphitryon to the pleasures which he is tasting.
AMPH. What! Is Amphitryon in there?
MERC. Rather: covered with the laurels of his fine victory, he is
side by side with the lovely Alcmene enjoying the delights of a
charming tete-a-tete. They are tasting the pleasures of being
reconciled, now their love-tiff has blown over. Take care how you
disturb their sweet privacy, unless you wish him to punish you for
your excessive rashness.
SCENE III
AMPHITRYON
Ah! What a frightful blow he has given me! How cruelly has he put me
to confusion! If matters are as this villain says, to what a state
are my honour and my affection reduced? What course can I adopt? Am
I to noise it abroad or keep it secret? Ought I, in my anger, to
keep the dishonour of my house to myself or make it public? Come!
Must one even think what to do in so gross an affront? I have no
standing, nothing to hope for; all my anxiety now shall be how to
avenge myself.
SCENE IV
SOSIE, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, AMPHITRYON
SOS. All I have been able to do, Monsieur, with all my diligence, is
to have brought these gentlemen here.
AMPH. Ah! You are here?
SOS. Monsieur.
AMPH. Insolent, bold rascal!
SOS. What?
AMPH. I shall teach you to treat me thus.
SOS. What is it? What is the matter with you?
AMPH. What is the matter with me, villain?
SOS. Hullo, gentlemen, come here quickly.
NAU. Ah! Stay, I beseech you.
SOS. Of what am I guilty?
AMPH. You ask me that, you scoundrel? Let me satisfy my righteous anger.
SOS. When they hang any one, they tell him why they do it.
NAU. At least condescend to tell us what his crime may be.
SOS. I beseech you, gentlemen, keep a tight hold of me.
AMPH. Yes! He has just had the audacity to shut the door in my face,
and to add threats to a thousand impudent jeers! Ah! You villain!
SOS. I am dead.
NAU. Restrain this anger.
SOS. Gentlemen.
POL. What is it?
SOS. Has he struck me?
AMPH. No, he must have his reward for the language he has made free
to use just now.
SOS. How could that be when I was elsewhere busy carrying out your
orders? These gentlemen here can bear witness that I have just
invited them to dine with you.
NAU. That is true: he has just delivered us this message, and would
not quit us.
AMPH. Who gave you that order?
SOS. You.
AMPH. When?
SOS. After you made your peace, when you were rejoicing at the
delight of having appeased Alcmene's anger.
AMPH. O Heaven! Every instant, every step, adds something to my
cruel martyrdom; I am so utterly confused that I no longer know
either what to believe or what to say.
NAU. All he has just told us, of what has happened at your house,
surpasses what is natural so much, that before doing anything and
before flying into such a passion, you ought to clear up the whole
of this adventure.
AMPH. Come; you can second my efforts; Heaven has brought you here
most opportunely. Let me see what fortune brings me today; let me
solve this mystery, and know my fate. Alas! I burn to learn it, and
I dread it more than death.
SCENE V
JUPITER, AMPHITRYON, NAUCRATES, POLIDAS, SOSIE
JUP. What is this noise that compels me to come down? Who knocks as
though he were master where I am master?
AMPH. Good Gods! What do I see?
NAU. Heaven! What prodigy is this? What? Here are two Amphitryons!
AMPH. My soul is struck dumb. Alas! I cannot do anything more: the
adventure is at an end; my fate is clear; what I see tells me all.
NAU. The more narrowly I watch them, the more I find they resemble each other.
SOS. Gentlemen, this is the true one; the other is an impostor who
ought to be chastised.
POL. Truly, this marvellous resemblance keeps my judgment in suspense.
AMPH. We have been tricked too long by an execrable rogue; I must
break the spell with this steel.
NAU. Stay.
AMPH. Leave me alone.
NAU. Ye Gods! What would you do?
AMPH. Punish the miserable treachery of an impostor.
JUP. Gently, gently! There is very little need of being carried away
by passion; when a man bursts out in such a rage as this, it makes
one think he has bad reasons.
SOS. Yes; it is an enchanter, who has a talisman that enables him to
resemble the masters of houses.
AMPH. For your share in this insulting language, I shall make you
feel a thousand blows.
SOS. My master is a man of courage: he will not allow his followers
to be thrashed.
AMPH. Let me assuage my deep anger, and wash out my affront in the
scoundrel's blood.
NAU. We shall not suffer this strange combat of Amphitryon against himself.
AMPH. What? Does my honour receive this treatment from you? Do my
friends undertake the defence of a rogue? Far from being the first
to take up my vengeance, they themselves place obstacles in the way
of my resentment?
NAU. What do you wish us to decide, when two Amphitryons are before
us and all the warmth of our friendship is in suspense? If we were
now to show towards you, we fear we might make a mistake, and not
recognise you. Truly we see in you the appearance of Amphitryon, the
glorious support of the Thebans' well-being; but we also see the
same appearance in him, and we cannot judge which he is. Our duty is
not doubtful, the impostor ought to bite the dust at our hands; but
this perfect resemblance hides him between you two; and it is too
hazardous a stroke to undertake in the dark. Let us find out quietly
on which side the imposture may be; then, as soon as we have
unravelled the adventure, it will not be necessary for you to tell us our duty.
JUP. Yes, you are right, this resemblance authorises you to doubt
both of us. I am not offended to see you cannot make up your minds:
I am more reasonable, and excuse you. The eye cannot differentiate
between us. I see one can easily be mistaken. You do not see me give
way to anger, nor draw my sword: that is a bad way to enlighten a
mystery; I can find one more gentle and more certain. One of us is
Amphitryon; and both of us may seem so in your eyes. It is for me to
end this confusion. I intend to make myself so well known to all,
that, at the overwhelming proofs I shall bring forward to show who I
am, be himself shall agree concerning the blood from which I sprang,
and he shall no longer have occasion to say anything. Before all the
Thebans I will reveal the truth to you; the affair is,
unquestionably, of sufficient importance to justify my seeking to
clear it up in the sight of all. Alcmene expects this public
testimony from me; her virtue, which is outraged by the noise of
this mischance, demands justification, and I will see justice is
done it. My love for her compels me to it. I shall call together an
assembly of the noblest chiefs, for the explanation her honour
requires. While waiting with you for these desirable witnesses, I
pray you to condescend to honour the table to which Sosie has invited you.
SOS. I was not mistaken, gentlemen, this word puts an end to all
irresolution: the real Amphitryon is the Amphitryon who gives dinners.
AMPH. O Heaven! Can my humiliation go further? Must I indeed suffer
the martyrdom of listening to all that this impostor has just said
to my face, my arms bound, though his words drive me mad?
NAU. You are wrong to complain. Let us await the explanation which
shall render resentment seasonable. I do not know whether he imposes
upon us or not; but he speaks on the matter as though he were right.
AMPH. Go, you weak-kneed friends, and flatter the imposture. Thebes
has other friends who will flock round me, different from you. I
will go and find some who, sharing the insult, will know bow to lend
their hand in my just cause.
JUP. Ah well! I await them; I shall know how to decide the
discussion in their presence.
AMPH. You rogue, you think perhaps to evade justice thus; but
nothing shall shield you from my vengeance.
JUP. I shall not now condescend to answer this insulting language;
soon I shall be able to confound your fury with two words.
AMPH. Not Heaven, not Heaven itself can protect you: I shall dog
your footsteps even to Hell.
JUP. It will not be necessary; you will soon see I shall not fly away.
AMPH. Now, before he goes away with these, I will make haste to
gather together friends who will aid my cause; they will come to my
house and help me to pierce him with a thousand thrusts.
JUP. No ceremony, I implore you; let us go quickly into the house.
NAU. Really, this adventure utterly confounds the senses and the reason.
SOS. A truce, gentlemen, to all your surprises; let us joyfully sit
down to feed until the morning. I intend to feast well, so that I
may be in good condition to relate our valiant deeds! I am itching
to attack the dishes; I never felt so hungry.
SCENE VI
MERCURY, SOSIE
MERC. Stop. What have you come to poke your nose in here for, you
impudent turn-spit?
SOS. Ah! Gently, gently, for mercy's sake!
MERC. Ah! You have come back again! I shall tan your hide for you.
SOS. Ah! Brave and generous I, compose yourself, I beseech you.
Sosie, spare Sosie a little, and do not divert yourself by knocking
yourself down.
MERC. Who gave you liberty to call yourself by that name? Did I not
expressly forbid you to do so, under penalty of experiencing a
thousand cuts from the cane?
SOS. It is a name we both may bear at the same time, under the same
master. I am recognised as Sosie everywhere; I permit you to be he,
permit me to be so, too. Let us leave it to the two Amphitryons to
give vent to their jealousies, and, though they contend, let the two
Sosies live in the bonds of peace.
MERC. No, one is quite enough; I am determined not to allow any division.
SOS. You shall have precedence over me; I will be the younger, and
you shall be the elder.
MERC. No: a brother is a nuisance, and not to my taste; I intend to
be the only son.
SOS. O barbarous and tyrannical heart! Allow me at least to be your shadow.
MERC. Not at all.
SOS. Let your soul humanise itself with a little pity! Allow me to
be near you in that capacity: I shall be everywhere so submissive a
shadow that you will be pleased with me.
MERC. No quarter; the law is immutable. If you again have the
audacity to go in there, a thousand blows shall be the fruit.
SOS. Alas! Poor Sosie, to what miserable disgrace are you reduced!
MERC. So? Your lips presume again to give yourself a name I forbid!
SOS. No, I did not intend myself; I was speaking of an old Sosie,
who was formerly a relative of mine, and whom, with the utmost
barbarity, they drove out of the house at dinner hour.
MERC. Take care you do not fall into that idiocy if you wish to
remain among the number of the living.