A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V W X Z

A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume I.

R >> R. Dodsley >> A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume I.




[_Eight leaves are here wanting_.]

IGNORANCE. With arguing here their foolish [saws]
That is not worth three straws.
I love not this whoreson 'losophers,
Nor this great cunning extromers,
That tell how far it is to the stars;
I hate all manner cunning!
I would ye knew it, I am Ignorance!
A lord I am of greater puissance
Than the king of England or France,
Yea, the greatest lord living!
I have servants at my retinue,
That long to me, I assure you,
Herewith in England,
That with me, Ignorance, dwell still,
And term of life continue will,
Above five hundred thousand.
SEN. Gog's nails, I have paid some of them, I trow.
IGN. Why, man, what aileth thee so to blow?
SEN. For I was at a shrewd fray.
IGN. Hast thou any of them slain, then?
SEN. Yea, I have slain them every man,
Save them that ran away.
IGN. Why, is any of them scaped and gone?
SEN. Yea, by Gog's body, every one,
All that ever were there.
IGN. Why, then, they be not all slain.
SEN. No, but I have put some to pain,
For one whoreson there was, that turned again,
And straight I cut off his ear.
IGN. Then thou hast made him a cutpurse.
SEN. Yea, but yet I served another worse!
I smote off his leg by the hard arse,
As soon as I met him there.
IGN. By my troth, that was a mad deed!
Thou shouldst have smit off his head,
Then he should never have troubled thee more.
SEN. Tush! then I had been but mad,
For there was another man that had
Smit off his head before!
IGN. Then thou hast quit thee like a tall knight!
SEN. Yea, that I have, by this light!
But, I say, can you tell me right
Where became my master?
IGN. What, he that you call Humanity?
SEN. Yea.
IGN. I wot never, except he be
Hid here in some corner.
SEN. Gog's body! and true ye say,
For yonder, lo! behold, ye may
See where the mad fool doth lie.
IGN. Now, on my faith and truth,
It were even great alms
To smite his head from his body!
SEN. Nay, God forbid ye should do so,
For he is but an innocent, lo!
In manner of a fool.
For as soon as I speak to him again,
I shall turn his mind clean,
And make him follow my school.
IGN. Then bid him rise, let us hear him speak.
SEN. Now, rise up, Master Huddypeke,
Your tail toteth out behind!
Fear not, man, stand up by and by;
I warrant you rise up boldly!
Here is none but is your friend.
HU. I cry you mercy, master dear!
IGN. Why, what is cause thou hidest thee here?
HU. For I was almost for fear,
Even clean out of my mind.
SEN. Nay, it is the study that ye have had
In this foolish losophy hath made you mad,
And no other thing, i-wis.
IGN. That is as true as the gospel!
Therefore I have great marvel,
That ever thou wilt follow the counsel
Of yonder two knaves.
HU. O sir, ye know right well this,
That when any man is
In other men's company,
He must needs follow the appetite
Of such things as they delight
Some time among, perdy!
IGN. But such knaves would alway have thee
To put all thy mind and felicity
In this foolish cunning to study;
Which, if thou do, will make thee mad,
And alway to be pensive and sad;
Thou shalt never be merry.
SEN. Merry, quotha? no, I make God avow!
But I pray thee, master, hark! one word now,
And answer this thing:
Whether thought you it better cheer
At the tavern, where we were ere,
Or else to clatter with these knaves here
Of their foolish cunning?
HU. Nay, I cannot say the contrary
But that I had mich merrier company
At the tavern than in this place.
SEN. Then if ye have any wit or brain,
Let us go to the tavern again,
And make some merry solace.
IGN. If he will do so, then doth he wisely.
HU. By my troth, I care not greatly,
For I am indifferent to all company,
Whether it be here or there.
SEN. Then I shall tell you what we will do;
Master Ignorance, you and he also
Shall tarry both still here,
And I will go fet hither a company,
That ye shall hear them sing as sweetly
As they were angels clear;
And yet I shall bring hither another sort
Of lusty bloods to make disport;
That shall both dance and spring,
And turn clean above the ground
With friskas and with gambawds round,
That all the hall shall ring.
And that done, within an hour or twain,
I shall at the town again
Prepare for you a banket
Of meats that be most delicate,
And most pleasant drinks and wines thereat,
That is possible to get,
Which shall be in a chamber fair,
Prepared point-device[21]
With damask water made so well,
That all the house thereof shall smell,
As it were paradise.
And after that, if ye will touch
A fair wench naked[22] in a couch[23]
Of a soft bed of down,
For to satisfy your wanton lust,
I shall appoint you a trull of trust,
Not a fairer in this town!
And when ye have taken your delight,
And thus satisfied the appetite
Of your wits five,
Ye may say then I am a servant
For you so necessary and pleasant,
I trow none such alive!
HU. Now, by the way that God did walk,
It comforteth mine heart to hear thee talk,
Thy match was never seen!
IGN. Then go thy way by and by,
And bring in this company,
And he and I will here tarry,
Till thou come again.
HU. And I pray thee heartily also.
SEN. At your request so shall I do.
Lo! I am gone, now farewell!
I shall bring them into this hall,
And come myself foremost of all,
And of these revels be chief marshal,
And order all things well.
IGN. Now, set thy heart on a merry pin,
Against these lusty bloods come in,
And drive fantasies away.
HU. And so I will, by heaven's King!
If they either dance or sing,
Have among them, by this day!
IGN. Then thou takest good and wise ways,
And so shalt thou best please
All this whole company;
For the foolish arguing that thou hast had
With that knave Experience, that hath made
All these folk thereof weary;
For all that they be now in this hall,
They be the most part my servants all,
And love principally
Disports, as dancing, singing,
Toys, trifles, laughing, jesting;
For cunning they set not by.
HU. I see well such company evermore,
As Sensual Appetite is gone for,
Will please well this audience.
IGN. Yea, that I suppose they will;
But peace, hark! I pray thee be still,
I ween they be not far hence.

[_Then the dancers without the hall sing this wise, and they within
answer, or else they may say it for need_.[24]]


THE DANCERS AND SENSUAL.

Peace, sirs, peace now! peace, sirs, all!


HUMANITY AND IGNORANCE.

Why, who is that so high doth call?


THE DANCERS.

Silence, I say, be you among,
For we be disposed to sing a song.


HUMANITY AND IGNORANCE.

Come in, then, boldly among this presence,
For here ye shall have good audience.
Time to pass with goodly sport,
Our sprites to revive and comfort,
To pipe, to sing,
To dance, to spring,
With pleasure and delight,
Following Sensual Appetite,
To pipe, &c.

IGN. I can you thank; that is done well;
It is pity ye had not a minstrel
For to augment your solace.
SEN. As for minstrel, it maketh no force,
Ye shall see me dance a course
Without a minstrel, be it better or worse;
Follow all: I will lead a trace.
HU. Now have among you, by this light!
IGN. That is well said, by God Almight!
Make room, sirs, and give them place.

[_Then he singeth this song and danceth withal, and evermore maketh
countenance according to the matter; and all the others answer
likewise_.]

Dance we, dance we, prance we, prance we,
So merrily let us dance ey, so merrily, &c.
And I can dance it gingerly, and I, &c.
And I can foot it by and by, and I, &c.
And I can prank it properly,
And I can countenance comely,[25]
And I can croak it courtesly,
And I can leap it lustily,
And I can turn it trimly,
And I can frisk it freshly,
And I can look it lordly.
IGN. I can thee thank, Sensual Appetite!
That is the best dance without a pipe,
That I saw this seven year.[26]
HU. This dance would do mich better yet,
If we had a kit or taberet,
But alas! there is none here.
SEN. Then let us go to the tavern again,
There shall we be sure of one or twain
Of minstrels, that can well play.
IGN. Then go, I pray ye, by and by,
And purvey some minstrel ready,
And he and I will follow shortly,
As fast as ever we may.
HU. Therewith I am right well content.
SEN. Then will I go incontinent,
And prepare every thing
That is metely to be done;
And for lack of minstrels, the mean season,
Now will we begin to sing.
Now we will here begin to sing,
For dance can we no more,
For minstrels here be all lacking;
To the tavern we will therefore.

[_Et exeunt cantando, &c_.

HU. Now if that Sensual Appetite can find
Any good minstrels after his mind,
Doubt not we shall have good sport.
IGN. And so shall we have for a surety;
But what shall we do now, tell me,
The meanwhile for our comfort?
HU. Then let us some lusty ballad sing.
IGN. Nay, sir, by the Heaven King!
For methinketh it serveth for nothing,
All such peevish prick-eared song!
HU. Peace, man, prick-song may not be despised,
For therewith God is well pleased,
Honoured, praised, and served,
In the church ofttimes among.
IGN. Is God well pleased, trow'st thou, thereby?
Nay, nay, for there is no reason why,
For is it not as good to say plainly,
Give me a spade,
As give me a spa, ve, va, ve, va, ve, vade?
But if thou wilt have a song that is good,
I have one of Robin Hood,
The best that ever was made.
HU. Then, a' fellowship, let us hear it.
IGN. But there is a burden, thou must bear it,
Or else it will not be.
HU. Then begin and care not to ...
Down, down, down, &c.
IGN. Robin Hood in Barnsdale stood,[27]
And leant him till a maple thistle;
Then came our lady and sweet Saint Andrew.
Sleepest thou, wakest thou, Geffrey Coke?
A hundred winter the water was deep,
I can not tell you how broad.
He took a goose neck in his hand,
And over the water he went.
He start up to a thistle top,
And cut him down a hollen club.
He stroke the wren between the horns,
That fire sprang out of the pig's tail.
Jack boy, is thy bow i-broke?
Or hath any man done the wriguldy wrag?
He plucked muscles out of a willow,
And put them into his satchel!
Wilkin was an archer good,
And well could handle a spade;
He took his bent bow in his hand,
And set him down by the fire.
He took with him sixty bows and ten,
A piece of beef, another of bacon.
Of all the birds in merry England
So merrily pipes the merry bottle![28]

NATURE.

Well, Humanity, now I see plainly
That thou hast used much folly,
The while I have been absent.

HU. Sir, I trust I have done nothing
That should be contrary to your pleasing,
Nor never was mine intent;
For I have followed the counsel clear,
As ye me bade, of Studious Desire,
And for necessity among
Sometime Sensual Appetite's counsel,
For without him, ye know right well,
My life cannot endure long.

NATURE.

Though it be for thee full necessary
For thy comfort sometime to satisfy
Thy sensual appetite,
Yet it is not convenient for thee
To put therein thy felicity
And all thy whole delight;
For if thou wilt learn no science,
Nother by study nor experience,
I shall thee never advance;
But in the world thou shalt dure then,
Despised of every wise man,
Like this-rude beast Ignorance.

[_The original here ends imperfectly_.]






THE TRAGI-COMEDY OF CALISTO AND MELIBAEA.


_A new comedy in English in manner of an interlude right elegant and full
of craft of rhetoric: wherein is shewed and described as well the beauty
and good properties of women, as their vices and evil conditions, with a
moral conclusion and exhortation to virtue. [Col.] Johes rastell me
imprimi fecit. Cum privilegio regali. Folio, black letter_.

The only copy known of this piece is among the books of Malone in the
Bodleian Library, and it has never hitherto been reprinted. An account of
it is given, however, by Collier (_History of English Dramatic Poetry_,
ii. 408-12).




AN INTERLUDE, SHOWING THE BEAUTY AND GOOD PROPERTIES OF WOMEN.



MELIBAEA.

Franciscus Petrarcus, the poet laureate,
Saith that Nature, which is mother of all things,
Without strife can give life to nothing create;
And Heraclitus, the wise clerk, in his writing,
Saith in all things create strife is their working;
And there is nothing under the firmament
With any other in all points equivalent.
And, according to their diets rehearsed as thus,
All things are create in manner of strife.
These foolish lovers, then, that be so amorous,
From pleasure to displeasure how lead they their life:
Now sorry, now sad: now joyous, now pensive:
Alas! I, poor maiden, then what shall I do,
Cumbered by dotage of one Calisto?
I know that Nature hath given me beauty,
With sanguineous complexion, favour, and fairness:
The more to God ought I to do fea'ty
With will, life, land, and love of perfectness.
I deny not but Calisto is of great worthiness,
But what of that? for all his high estate,
His desire I defy, and utterly shall hate.
Oh, his sayings and suits so importune,
That of my life he maketh me almost weary!
Oh, his lamentations and exclamations on fortune,
With similitude [of] manner as one that should die!
But who shall pity this? In faith, not I.
Shall I accomplish his carnal desire?
Nay, yet at a stake rather bren in a fire.
Of truth, I am sorry for his trouble;
To strive with himself thus for love of me;
But though his sorrows, I assure you, should double,
Out of his danger[29] will I be at liberty.

[_Enter_ CALISTO _unseen_.]

CAL. What amiss, woman, now Christ benedicite?
[_Aside_.
MEL. Nay, nay, he shall never that day see;
His voluptuous appetite consented by me.
Wist he now that I were present here,
I assure you shortly he would seek me;
And without doubt he doth now inquire,
Whither I am gone, or where I should be.
See, is he not now come? I repent[30] me
Alas, of this man I can never be rid:
Would to Christ I wist, where I might be hid.
CAL. By you, fair Melibaea, may be seen
The grace, the gifts, the greatness of God.
MEL. Wherein?
CAL. In taking effect of Dame Nature's strene;[31]
Nor yearthly, but angelic of likelihood;
In beauty so passing the kind of woman-hood.
O God, I might in your presence be able
To manifest my dolours incomparable;
Greater were that reward than the grace
Heaven to obtain by works of pity!
Not so glorious be the saints that see God's face,
Ne joy not so much, as I do you to see.
Yet difference there is between them and me,
For they glorify by His assured presence,
And I in torment because of your absence.
MEL. Why, thinkest thou that so great a reward?
CAL. Yea, more greater than if God would set me
In heaven above all saints, and more in regard;
And think it a more higher felicity.
MEL. Yet more greater thy reward shall be,
If thou flee from the determination
Of thy consent of mind by such temptation.
I perceive the extent of thy words all,
As of the wit of him, that would have the virtue
Of me such a woman to become thrall.
Go thy way with sorrow! I would thou knew
I have, foul scorn of thee, I tell thee true,
Or [of] any human creature with me should begin
Any communication pertaining to sin.
And I promise thee, where--thou art present,
While I live, by my will I will be absent.
[_Exit_.
CAL. Lo! out of all joy I am fallen in woe,
Upon whom adverse fortune hath cast her chance
Of cruel hate, which causeth now away to go
The keeper of my joy and all my pleasance.
Alas, alas, now to me what noyance!

_Enter_ SEMPRONIO, _a parasite_.

SEM. _Dieu garde_, my lord, and God be in this place!
CAL. Sempronio?
SEM. Yea, sir.
CAL. Ah, sir, I shrew thy face!
Why hast thou been from me so long absent?
SEM. For I have been about your business,
To order such things as were convenient,
Your house and horse, and all things, was to dress.
CAL. O Sempronio, have pity on my distress;
For of all creatures I am the woefullest.
SEM. How so? what is the cause of your unrest?
CAL. For I serve in love to the goodliest thing
That is or ever was.
SEM. What is she?
CAL. It is one which is all other exceeding:
The picture of angels, if thou her see:
Phoebus or Phoebe no comparison may be
To her.
SEM. What hight she?
CAL. Melibaea is her name.
SEM. Marry, sir, this would make a wild horse tame!
CAL. I pray thee, Sempronio, go fet me my lute,
And bring some chair or stool with thee;
The arguments of love that I may dispute,
Which science, I find, thou[32] art without pity.
Hie thee, Sempronio, hie thee, I pray thee.
SEM. Sir, shortly, I assure you, it shall be done.
[_Exit Sem_.
CAL. Then farewell! Christ send thee again soon!
Oh, what fortune is equal unto mine!
Oh, what woeful wight with me may compare!
The thirst of sorrow is my mixed wine,
Which daily I drink with deep draughts of care.

_Re-enter_ SEMPRONIO.

SEM. Tush, sir, be merry, let pass away the mare:[33]
How say you, have I not hied me lightly?
Here is your chair and lute to make you merry.
CAL. Merry, quotha? nay, that will not be;
But I must needs sit for very feebleness.
Give me my lute, and thou shalt see
How I shall sing mine unhappiness.
This lute is out of tune now, as I guess;
Alas! in tune how should I set it,
When all harmony to me discordeth each whit,
As he, to whose will reason is unruly?
For I feel sharp needles within my breast;
Peace, war, truth, hatred, and injury:
Hope and suspect, and all in one chest.
SEM. Behold, Nero, in the love of Poppaea[34] oppressed,
Rome how he brent; old and young wept:
But she took no thought, nor never the less slept.
CAL. Greater is my fire, and less pity showed me.
SEM. I will not mock; this fool is a lover. [_Aside_.
CAL. What say'st thou?
SEM. I say, how can that fire be,
That tormenteth but one living man, greater
Than that fire that brenneth a whole city here,
And all the people therein?
CAL. Marry, for that fire is greatest,
That brenneth very sore, and lasteth longest;
And greater is the fire that brenneth one soul,
Than that which brenneth an hundred bodies.
SEM. His saying in this none can control. [_Aside_.
CAL. None but such as list to make lies!
And if the fire of purgatory bren in such wise,
I had liever my spirit in brute beasts should be,
Than to go thither, and then to the deity.
SEM. Marry, sir, that is a spice of heresy.
CAL. Why so?
SEM. For ye speak like no Christian man.
CAL. I would thou knewest Melibaea worship I:
In her I believe, and her I love.
SEM. Ah, ah, then,
With thee Melibaea is a great woman;
I know on which foot thou dost halt on:
I shall shortly heal thee, my life thereupon!
CAL. An incredible thing thou dost promise me.
SEM. Nay, nay, it is easy enough to do;
But first, for to heal a man, knowledge must be
Of the sickness; then to give counsel thereto.
CAL. What counsel can rule him, Sempronio,
That keepeth in him no order of counsel?[35]
SEM. Ah, is this Calisto? his fire now I know well;
How that love over him hath cast her net;
In whose perseverance is all inconstancy.
CAL. Why, is not Elisaeus' love and thine met?
SEM. What then?
CAL. Why reprovest me then of ignorance?
SEM. For thou settest man's dignity in obeisance
To the imperfection of the weak woman.
CAL. A woman? Nay, a god of goddesses.
SEM. Believest that then?
CAL. Yea, and as a goddess I here confess;
And I believe there is no such sovereign
In heaven, though she be in earth.
SEM. Peace, peace.
A woman a god! nay, to God, a villain.
Of your saying ye may be sorry.
CAL. It is plain.
SEM. Why so?
CAL. Because I love her, and think surely
To obtain my desire I am unworthy.
SEM. O fearful heart! why comparest thou with Nimrod
Or Alexander? of this world not lords only,
But worthy to subdue heaven, as saying go'th;
And thou reputest thyself more high
Than them both, and despairest so cowardly
To win a woman, of whom hath been so many
Gotten and ungotten, never heard of any?
It is recited in the Feast of Saint John:
This is the woman of ancient malice;
Of whom but of a woman was it sung on,
That Adam was expulsed from Paradise?
She put man to pain whom Eli did despise.
CAL. Then sith Adam gave him to their governance,
Am I greater than Adam myself to advance?
SEM. Nay, but of those men it were wisdom,
That overcame them to seek remedy,
And not of those that they did overcome.
Flee from their beginnings, eschew their folly:
Thou knowest they do evil things many.
They keep no mean, but rigour of intention;
Be it fair [or] foul, wilful without reason.
Keep them never so close, they will be showed,
Give tokens of love by many subtle ways:
Seeming to be sheep, and serpently shrewd:
Craft in them renewing, that never decays.
Their sayings and sightings provoking their plays.
Oh, what pain is to fulfil their appetites,
And to accomplish their wanton delights!
It is a wonder to see their dissembling,
Their flattering countenance, their ingratitude,
Inconstancy, false witness, feigned weeping:
Their vain-glory, and how they can delude:
Their foolishness, their jangling not mew'd:
Their lecherous lust and vileness therefore:
Witchcrafts and charms to make men to their lore:
Their embalming[36] and their unshamefacedness:
Their bawdry, their subtlety, and fresh attiring!
What trimming, what painting, to make fairness!
Their false intents and flickering smiling:
Therefore lo! it is an old saying
That women be the devil's nets, and head of sin;
And man's misery in Paradise did begin--
CAL. But what thinkest thou by me yet for all this?
SEM. Marry, sir, ye were a man of clear wit,
Whom Nature hath endued with the best gifts,
As beauty and greatness of members perfit:
Strength, lightness; and beyond this each whit
Fortune hath parted with you of her influence,
For to be able of liberal expense.
For without goods, whereof Fortune is lady,
No man can have wealth. Therefore by conjecture
You should be beloved of everybody.
CAL. But not of Melibaea now I am sure;
And though thou hadst praised me without measure,
And compared me without comparison,
Yet she is above in every condition.
Behold her nobleness, her ancient lineage,
Her great patrimony, her excellent wit,
Her resplendent virtue, her portly courage,
Her godly grace, her sovereign beauty perfit!
No tongue is able well to express it;
But yet, I pray thee, let me speak awhile,
Myself to refresh in rehearsing of my style.
I begin at her hair, which is so goodly,
Crisped to her heels, tied with fine lace.
Far shining beyond fine gold of Araby:
I trow the sun colour to it may give place;
That who to behold it might have the grace,
Would say in comparison nothing countervails--
SEM. Then is it not like hair of ass-tails?
CAL. Oh, what foul comparison! this fellow rails.
Her gay glassing eyes so fair and bright;
Her brows, her nose in a mean[37] no fashion fails;
Her mouth proper and feat, her teeth small and white;
Her lips ruddy, her body straight upright;
Her little teats to the eye is a pleasure.
Oh, what a joy it is to see such a figure!
Her skin of whiteness endarketh the snow,
With rose-colour ennewed.[38] I thee ensure
Her little hands in mean[39] manner--this no trow[4]--
Her fingers small and long, with nails ruddy: most pure
Of proportion, none such in portraiture:
Without peer: worthy to have for fairness
The apple that Paris gave Venus the goodness.
SEM. Sir, have ye all done?
CAL. Yea, marry, what then?
SEM. I put case all this ye have said be true;
Yet are ye more noble, sith ye be a man.
CAL. Wherein?
SEM. She is imperfect, I would ye knew,
As all women be, and of less value.
Philosophers say the matter is less worthy
Than the form; so is woman to man surely.
CAL. I love not to hear this altercation
Between Melibaea and me her lover.
SEM. Possible it is in every condition
To abhor her as much as you do love her
In the woman beguiling is the danger,
That ye shall see hereafter with eyes free.
CAL. With what eyes?
SEM. With clear eyes, trust me.
CAL. Why, with what eyes do I see now?
SEM. With dim eyes, which show a little thing much.
But for ye shall not despair, I assure you
No labour nor diligence in me shall grutch:
So trusty and friendly ye shall find me such,
In all things possible that ye can acquire
The thing to accomplish to your desire.
CAL. God bring that to pass, so glad it is to me
To hear thee thus, though I hope not in thy doings.
SEM. Yet I shall do it, trust me for a surety.
CAL. God reward thee for thy gentle intending;
I give thee this chain of gold in rewarding.
SEM. Sir, God reward you, and send us good speed;
I doubt not but I shall perform it indeed.
But without rewards it is hard to work well.
CAL. I am content, so thou be not negligent.
SEM. Nay, be not you; for it passeth a marvel,
The master slow, the servant to be diligent.
CAL. How thinkest it can be? show me thine intent.
SEM. Sir, I have a neighbour, a mother of bawdry,
That can provoke the hard rocks to lechery.
In all evil deeds she is perfect wise.
I trow more than a thousand virgins
Have been destroyed by her subtle devices,
For she never faileth, where she begins:
Alone by this craft her living she wins.
Maids, wives, widows, and every one,
If she once meddle, there escapeth none.
CAL. How might I speak with her, Sempronio?
SEM. I shall bring her hither unto this place;
But ye must in any wise let rewards go,
And show her your griefs in every case.
CAL. Else were I not worthy to attain grace.
But, alas, Sempronio, thou tarriest too long.
SEM. Sir, God be with you.
CAL. Christ make thee strong! [_Exit Sem_.
The mighty and perdurable God be his guide,
As he guided the three kings into Bedlam[40]
From the east by the star, and again did provide
As their conduct to return to their own realm;
So speed my Sempronio to quench the leme[41]
Of this fire, which my heart doth waste and spend;
And that I may come to my desired end!
To pass the time now will I walk
Up and down within mine orchard,
And to myself go commune and talk;
And pray that fortune to me be not hard;
Longing to hear, whether made or marred,
My message shall return by my servant Sempronio.
Thus farewell, my lords; for a while I will go.

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