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The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 9

R >> Richard F. Burton >> The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, Volume 9




When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirtieth Night,

She resumed: It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that King
Wird Khan said to the son of Shimas the whilome Wazir, "Presently
I will name thee my successor and make thee my heir apparent, and
I will call the Grandees of mine Empire to witness thereto." Then
he summoned his Secretary and bade him write to all the Lords of
his land, convoking them at his Court, and caused proclamation to
be made in his city to all the townsfolk great and small, bidding
every one of the Emirs and Governors and Chamberlains and other
officers and dignitaries to his presence as well as the Olema and
Literati learned in the law. He held to boot a grand Divan and
made a banquet, never was its like seen anywhere and thereto he
bade all the folk, high and low. So they assembled and abode in
merry making, eating and drinking a month's space, after which
the King clothed the whole of his household and the poor of his
Kingdom and bestowed on the men of knowledge abundant largesse.
Then he chose out a number of the Olema and wise men who were
known to the son of Shimas and caused them go in to him, bidding
him choose out of them six that he might make them Wazirs under
commandment of the boy. Accordingly he selected six of the oldest
of them in years and the best in wits and fullest of lore and the
quickest of memory and judgment and presented them to the King,
who clad them in Wazirial habit saying, "Ye are become my
Ministers, under the commandment of this my Grand Wazir, the son
of Shimas. Whatsoever he saith to you or biddeth you to do, ye
shall never and in no wise depart from it, albeit he is the
youngest of you in years, for he is the eldest of you in
intellect and intelligence." Then he seated them upon chairs,
adorned with gold after the usage of Wazirs, and appointed to
them stipends and allowances, bidding them choose out such of the
notables of the kingdom and officers of the troops present at the
banquet as were aptest for the service of the state, that he
might make them Captains of tens and Captains of hundreds and
Captains of thousands and appoint to them dignities and stipends
and assign them provision, after the manner of Grandees. This
they did with entire diligence and he bade them also handsel all
who were present with large gifts and dismiss them each to his
country with honour and renown; he also charged his governors to
rule the people with justice and enjoined them to be tender to
the poor as well as to the rich and bade succour them from the
treasury, according to their several degrees. So the Wazirs
wished him permanence of glory and continuance of life, and he
commanded to decorate the city three days, in gratitude to Allah
Almighty for mercies vouchsafed to him. Such was the case with
the King and his Wazir, Ibn Shimas, in the ordinance of his
kingdom through his Emirs and Governors; but as regards the
favourite women, wives, concubines and others who, by their
malice and perfidy, had brought about the slaughter of the Wazirs
and had well nigh ruined the realm, as soon as the Court was
dissolved and all the people had departed, each to his own place,
after their affairs had been set in order, the King summoned his
boy-Minister, the son of Shimas, and the other six Wazirs and
taking them apart privily, said to them, "Know, O Wazirs that I
have been a wanderer from the right way, drowned in ignorance,
opposed to admonition, a breaker of facts and promises and a
gainsayer of good counsellors; and the cause of all this was my
being fooled by these women and the wiles whereby they beset me
and the glozing lure of their speech, whereby they seduced me to
sin and my acceptance of this, for that I deemed the words of
them true and loyal counsel, by reason of their sweetness and
softness; but lo, and behold! they were deadly poison. And now I
am certified that they sought but to ruin and destroy me,
wherefore they deserve punishment and retribution from me, for
justice sake, that I may make them a warning to whoso will be
warned. And what say your just judgments anent doing them to
die?" Answered the boy Wazir, "O mighty King, I have already told
thee that women are not alone to blame, but that the fault is
shared between them and the men who hearken to them. However,
they deserve punishment and requital for two reasons: firstly for
the fulfilment of thy word, because thou art the supreme King;
and secondly, by reason of their presumption against thee and
their seducing thee and their meddling with that which concerneth
them not and whereof it befitteth them not even to speak.
Wherefore they have right well deserved death; yet let that which
hath befallen them suffice them, and do thou henceforth reduce
them to servants' estate. But it is thine to command in this and
in other than this." Then one of the Wazirs seconded the counsel
of Ibn Shimas; but another of them prostrated himself before the
King and said to him, "Allah prolong the King's life! An thou be
indeed resolved to do with them that which shall cause their
death, do with them as I shall say to thee." Asked Wird Khan,
"And what is that?"; and the Wazir answered, "'Twere best that
thou bid some of thy female slaves carry the women who played
thee false to the apartment, wherein befel the slaughter of thy
Wazirs and wise men and imprison them there; and bid that they be
provided with a little meat and drink, enough to keep life in
their bodies. Let them never be suffered to go forth of that
place, and whenever one of them dies, let her abide among them,
as she is, till they die all, even to the last of them. This is
the least of their desert, because they were the cause of this
great avail, ay, and the origin of all the troubles and
calamities that have befallen in our time; so shall there be
verified in them the saying of the Sayer, 'Whoso diggeth his
brother a pit shall surely himself fall into it, albeit of long
safety he have benefit.'" The King accepted the Wazir's counsel
and sending for four stalwart female slaves, committed the
offending women to them, bidding them bear them into the place of
slaughter and imprison them there and allow them every day a
little coarse food and a little troubled water. They did with
them as he bade; wherefore the women mourned with sore mourning,
repenting them of that which they had done and lamenting with
grievous lamentation. Thus Allah gave them their reward of
abjection in this world and prepared for them torment in the
world to come; nor did they cease to abide in that murky and
noisome place, whilst every day one or other of them died, till
they all perished, even to the last of them;[FN#183] and the
report of this event was bruited abroad in all lands and
countries. This is the end of the story of the King and his
Wazirs and subjects, and praise be to Allah who causeth peoples
to pass away, and quickeneth the bones that rot in decay; Him who
alone is worthy to be glorified and magnified alway and hallowed
for ever and aye! And amongst the tales they tell is one of




ABU KIR THE DYER AND ABU SIR THE BARBER.



There dwelt once, in Alexandria city, two men, of whom one was a
dyer, by name Abu Kir, and the other a barber Abu Sir[FN#184];
and they were neighbours in the market-street, where their shops
stood side by side. The dyer was a swindler and a liar, an
exceeding wicked wight, as if indeed his head-temples were hewn
out of a boulder rock or fashioned of the threshold of a Jewish
synagogue, nor was he ashamed of any shameful work he wrought
amongst the folk. It was his wont, when any brought him cloth
for staining, first to require of him payment under pretence of
buying dyestuffs therewith. So the customer would give him the
wage in advance and wend his ways, and the dyer would spend all
he received on meat and drink; after which he would sell the
cloth itself as soon as ever its owner turned his back and waste
its worth in eating and drinking and what not else, for he ate
not but of the daintiest and most delicate viands nor brank but
of the best of that which doth away the with of man. And when
the owner of the cloth came to him, he would say to him, "Return
to me to-morrow before sunrise and thou shalt find thy stuff
dyed." So the customer would go away, saying to himself, "One
day is near another day," and return next day at the appointed
time, when the dyer would say to him, "Come to-morrow; yesterday
I was not at work, for I had with me guests and was occupied with
doing what their wants required till they went: but to-morrow
before sunrise come and take thy cloth dyed." So he would fare
forth and return on the third day, when Abu Kir would say to him,
"Indeed yesterday I was excusable, for my wife was brought to bed
in the night and all day I was busy with manifold matters; but
to-morrow, without fail, come and take thy cloth dyed." When the
man came again at the appointed time, he would put him off with
some other pretence, it mattered little what, and would swear to
him;--Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her
permitted say.

When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-first Night,

She said, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that every time
the owner of an article came to the dyer he would put him off
with any pretext[FN#185] and would swear to him; nor would he
cease to promise and swear to him, as often as he came, till the
customer lost patience and said, "How often wilt thou say to me,
'To-morrow?' Give me my stuff: I will not have it dyed."
Whereupon the dyer would make answer, "By Allah, O my brother, I
am abashed at thee; but I must tell the truth and may Allah harm
all who harm folk in their goods!" The other would exclaim,
"Tell me what hath happened;" and Abu Kir would reply, "As for
thy stuff I dyed that same on matchless wise and hung it on the
drying rope but 'twas stolen and I know not who stole it." If
the owner of the stuff were of the kindly he would say, "Allah
will compensate me;" and if he were of the ill-conditioned, he
would haunt him with exposure and insult, but would get nothing
of him, though he complained of him to the judge. He ceased not
doing thus till his report was noised abroad among the folk and
each used to warn other against Abu Kir who became a byword
amongst them. So they all held aloof from him and none would be
entrapped by him save those who were ignorant of his character;
but, for all this, he failed not daily to suffer insult and
exposure from Allah's creatures. By reason of this his trade
became slack and he used to go to the shop of his neighbour the
barber Abu Sir and sit there, facing the dyery and with his eyes
on the door. Whenever he espied any one who knew him not
standing at the dyery-door, with a piece of stuff in his hand, he
would leave the barber's booth and go up to him saying, "What
seekest thou, O thou?"; and the man would reply, "Take and dye me
this thing." So the dyer would ask, "What colour wilt thou have
it?" For, with all his knavish tricks his hand was in all manner
of dyes; but he was never true to any one; wherefore poverty had
gotten the better of him. Then he would take the stuff and say,
"Give me my wage in advance and come to-morrow and take the
stuff." So the stranger would advance him the money and wend his
way; whereupon Abu Kir would carry the cloth to the market-street
and sell it and with its price buy meat and vegetables and
tobacco[FN#186] and fruit and what not else he needed; but,
whenever he saw any one who had given him stuff to dye standing
at the door of his shop, he would not come forth to him or even
show himself to him. On this wise he abode years and years, till
it fortuned one day that he received cloth to dye from a man of
wrath and sold it and spent the proceeds. The owner came to him
every day, but found him not in his shop; for, whenever he espied
any one who had claim against him, he would flee from him into
the shop of the barber Abu Sir. At last, that angry man finding
that he was not to be seen and growing weary of such work,
repaired to the Kazi and bringing one of his serjeants to the
shop, nailed up the door, in presence of a number of Moslems, and
sealed it, for that he saw therein naught save some broken pans
of earthenware to stand him instead of his stuff; after which the
serjeant took the key, saying to the neighbours, "Tell him to
bring back this man's cloth then come to me[FN#187] and take his
shop key;" and went his way, he and the man. Then said Abu Sir
to Abu Kir, "What ill business is this?[FN#188] Whoever bringeth
thee aught thou losest it for him. What hath become of this
angry man's stuff?" Answered the dyer, "O my neighbour, 'twas
stolen from me." "Prodigous!" exclaimed the barber. "Whenever
any one giveth thee aught, a thief stealeth it from thee! Art
thou then the meeting-place of every rogue upon town? But I
doubt me thou liest: so tell me the truth." Replied Abu Kir, "O
my neighbour, none hath stolen aught from me." Asked Abu Sir,
"What then dost thou with the people's property?"; and the dyer
answered, "Whenever any one giveth me aught to dye, I sell it and
spend the price." Quoth Abu Sir, "Is this permitted thee of
Allah?" and quoth Abu Kir, "I do this only out of poverty,
because business is slack with me and I am poor and have
nothing."[FN#189] And he went on to complain to him of the
dulness of his trade and his lack of means. Abu Sir in like
manner lamented the little profit of his own calling, saying, "I
am a master of my craft and have not my equal in this city; but
no one cometh to me to be polled, because I am a pauper; and I
loathe this art and mystery, O my brother." Abu Kir replied,
"And I also loathe my own craft, by reason of its slackness; but,
O my brother, what call is there for abiding in this town? Let
us depart from it, I and thou, and solace ourselves in the lands
of mankind, carrying in our hands our crafts which are in demand
all the world over; so shall we breathe the air and rest from
this grievous trouble." And he ceased not to commend travel to
Abu Sir, till the barber became wishful to set out; so they
agreed upon their route,--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day
and ceased to say her permitted say.

When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-second Night,

She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that Abu
Kir ceased not his praises of wayfaring to Abu Sir till the
barber became wishful to depart; so they agreed upon their route,
at which decision Abu Kir rejoiced and improvised these lines,

"Leave thy home for abroad an wouldst rise on high, * And travel
whence benefits five-fold rise;
The soothing of sorrow and winning of bread, * Knowledge, manners
and commerce with good men and wise.
An they say that in travel are travail and care, * And disunion
of friends and much hardship that tries;
Yet to generous youth death is better than life * In the house of
contempt betwixt haters and spies."

When they agreed to travel together Abu Kir said to Abu Sir, "O
my neighbour, we are become brethren and there is no difference
between us, so it behoveth us to recite the Fatihah[FN#190] that
he of us who gets work shall of his gain feed him who is out of
work, and whatever is left, we will lay in a chest; and when we
return to Alexandria, we will divide it fairly and equally." "So
be it," replied Abu Sir, and they repeated the Opening Chapter of
the Koran on this understanding. Then Abu Sir locked up his shop
and gave the key to its owner, whilst Abu Kir left his door
locked and sealed and let the key lie with the Kazi's serjeant;
after which they took their baggage and embarked on the morrow in
a galleon[FN#191] upon the salt sea. They set sail the same day
and fortune attended them, for, of Abu Sir's great good luck,
there was not a barber in the ship albeit it carried an hundred
and twenty men, besides captain and crew. So, when they loosed
the sails, the barber said to the dyer, "O my brother, this is
the sea and we shall need meat and drink; we have but little
provaunt with us and haply the voyage will be long upon us;
wherefore methinks I will shoulder my budget and pass among the
passengers, and may be some one will say to me, 'Come hither, O
barber, and shave me,' and I will shave him for a scone or a
silver bit or a draught of water: so shall we profit by this, I
and thou too." "There's no harm in that," replied the dyer and
laid down his head and slept, whilst the barber took his gear and
water-tasse[FN#192] and throwing over his shoulder a rag, to
serve as napkin (because he was poor), passed among the
passengers. Quoth one of them, "Ho, master, come and shave me."
So he shaved him, and the man gave him a half-dirham;[FN#193]
whereupon quoth Abu Sir, "O my brother, I have no use for this
bit; hadst thou given me a scone 'twere more blessed to me in
this sea, for I have a shipmate and we are short of provision."
So he gave him a loaf and a slice of cheese and filled him the
tasse with sweet water. The barber carried all this to Abu Kir
and said, "Eat the bread and cheese and drink the water."
Accordingly he ate and drank, whilst Abu Sir again took up his
shaving gear and, tasse in hand and rag on shoulder, went round
about the deck among the passengers. One man he shaved for two
scones and another for a bittock of cheese, and he was in demand,
because there was no other barber on board. Also he bargained
with every one who said to him, "Ho, master, shave me!" for two
loaves and a half dirham, and they gave him whatever he sought,
so that, by sundown, he had collected thirty loaves and thirty
silvers with store of cheese and olives and botargoes.[FN#194]
And besides these he got from the passengers whatever he asked
for and was soon in possession of things galore. Amongst the
rest he shaved the Captain,[FN#195] to whom he complained of his
lack of victual for the voyage, and the skipper said to him,
"Thou art welcome to bring thy comrade every night and sup with
me and have no care for that so long as ye sail with us." Then
he returned to the dyer, whom he found asleep; so he roused him;
and when Abu Kir awoke, he saw at his head an abundance of bread
and cheese and olives and botargoes and said, "Whence gottest
thou all this?" "From the bounty of Allah Almighty," replied Abu
Sir. Then Abu Kir would have fallen to, but the barber said to
him, "Eat not of this, O my brother; but leave it to serve us
another time; for know that I shaved the Captain and complained
to him of our lack of victual: whereupon quoth he, 'Welcome to
thee! Bring thy comrade and sup both of ye with me every night.'
And this night we sup with him for the first time." But Abu Kir
replied, "My head goeth round with sea-sickness and I cannot rise
from my stead; so let me sup off these things and fare thou alone
to the Captain." Abu Sir replied, "There is no harm in that;"
and sat looking at the other as he ate, and saw him hew off
gobbets, as the quarryman heweth stone from the hill-quarries and
gulp them down with the gulp of an elephant which hath not eaten
for days, bolting another mouthful ere he had swallowed the
previous one and glaring the while at that which was before him
with the glowering of a Ghul, blowing and blowing as bloweth the
hungry bull over his beans and bruised straw. Presently up came
a sailor and said to the barber, "O craftsmaster, the Captain
biddeth thee come to supper and bring thy comrade." Quoth the
barber to the dyer, "Wilt thou come with us?"; but quoth he, "I
cannot walk." So the barber went by himself and found the
Captain sitting before a tray whereon were a score or more of
dishes and all the company were awaiting him and his mate. When
the Captain saw him he asked, "Where is thy friend?"; and Abu Sir
answered, "O my lord, he is sea-sick." Said the skipper, "That
will do him no harm; his sickness will soon pass off; but do thou
carry him his supper and come back, for we tarry for thee." Then
he set apart a porringer of Kababs and putting therein some of
each dish, till there was enough for ten, gave it to Abu Sir,
saying, "Take this to thy chum." He took it and carried it to
the dyer, whom he found grinding away with his dog-teeth[FN#196]
at the food which was before him, as he were a camel, and heaping
mouthful on mouthful in his hurry. Quoth Abu Sir, "Did I not say
to thee, 'Eat not of this'? Indeed the Captain is a kindly man.
See what he hath sent thee, for that I told him thou wast
sea-sick." "Give it here," cried the dyer. So the barber gave
him the platter, and he snatched it from him and fell upon his
food, ravening for it and resembling a grinning dog or a raging
lion or a Rukh pouncing on a pigeon or one well-nigh dead for
hunger who seeing meat falls ravenously to eat. Then Abu Sir
left him and going back to the Captain, supped and enjoyed
himself and drank coffee[FN#197] with him; after which he
returned to Abu Kir and found he had eaten all that was in the
porringer and thrown it aside, empty.--And Shahrazad perceived
the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

When it was the Nine Hundred and Thirty-third Night,

She pursued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Abu
Sir returned to Abu Kir he saw that he had eaten all that was in
the porringer and had thrown it aside empty. So he took it up
and gave it to one of the Captain's servants, then went back to
Abu Kir and slept till the morning. On the morrow, he continued
to shave, and all he got by way of meat and drink he gave to his
shipmate, who ate and drank and sat still, rising not save to do
what none could do for him, and every night the barber brought
him a full porringer from the Captain's table. They fared thus
twenty days until the galleon cast anchor in the harbour of a
city; whereupon they took leave of the skipper and landing,
entered the town and hired them a closet in a Khan. Abu Sir
furnished it and buying a cooking pot and a platter and
spoons[FN#198] and what else they needed, fetched meat and cooked
it; but Abu Kir fell asleep the moment he entered the
Caravanserai and awoke not till Abu Sir aroused him and set a
tray of food[FN#199] before him. When he awoke, he ate and
saying to Abu Sir, "Blame me not, for I am giddy," fell asleep
again. Thus he did forty days, whilst, every day, the barber
took his gear and making the round of the city, wrought for that
which fell to his lot,[FN#200] and returning, found the dyer
asleep and aroused him. The moment he awoke he fell ravenously
upon the food, eating as one who cannot have his fill nor be
satisfied; after which he went asleep again. On this wise he
passed other forty days and whenever the barber said to him, "Sit
up and be comfortable[FN#201] and go forth and take an airing in
the city, for 'tis a gay place and a pleasant and hath not its
equal among the cities," he would reply, "Blame me not, for I am
giddy." Abu Sir cared not to hurt his feelings nor give him hard
words; but, on the forty-first day, he himself fell sick and
could not go abroad; so he engaged the porter of the Khan to
serve them both, and he did the needful for them and brought them
meat and drink whilst Abu Kir would do nothing but eat and sleep.
The man ceased not to wait upon them on this wise for four days,
at the end of which time the barber's malady redoubled on him,
till he lost his senses for stress of sickness; and Abu Kir,
feeling the sharp pangs of hunger, arose and sought in his
comrade's clothes, where he found a thousand silver bits. He
took them and, shutting the door of the closet upon Abu Sir,
fared forth without telling any; and the doorkeeper was then at
market and thus saw him not go out. Presently Abu Kir betook
himself to the bazar and clad himself in costly clothes, at a
price of five hundred half-dirhams; then he proceeded to walk
about the streets and divert himself by viewing the city which he
found to be one whose like was not among cities; but he noted
that all its citizens were clad in clothes of white and blue,
without other colour. Presently he came to a dyer's and seeing
naught but blue in his shop, pulled out to him a kerchief and
said, "O master, take this and dye it and win thy wage." Quoth
the dyer, "The cost of dyeing this will be twenty dirhams;" and
quoth Abu Kir, "In our country we dye it for two." "Then go and
dye it in your own country! As for me, my price is twenty
dirhams and I will not bate a little thereof." "What colour wilt
thou dye it?" "I will dye it blue." "But I want it dyed red."
"I know not how to dye red." "Then dye it green." "I know not
how to dye green." "Yellow." "Nor yet yellow." Thereupon Abu
Kir went on to name the different tints to him, one after other,
till the dyer said, "We are here in this city forty masterdyers,
not one more nor one less; and when one of us dieth, we teach his
son the craft. If he leave no son, we abide lacking one, and if
he leave two sons, we teach one of them the craft, and if he die,
we teach his brother. This our craft is strictly ordered, and we
know how to dye but blue and no other tine whatsoever." Then
said Abu Kir, "Know that I too am a dyer and wot how to dye all
colours; and I would have thee take me into thy service on hire,
and I will teach thee everything of my art, so thou mayst glory
therein over all the company of dyers." But the dyer answered,
"We never admit a stranger into our craft." Asked Abu Kir, "And
what if I open a dyery for myself?"; whereto the other answered,
"We will not suffer thee to do that on any wise;" whereupon he
left him and going to a second dyer, made him the like proposal;
but he returned him the same answer as the first; and he ceased
not to go from one to other, till he had made the round of the
whole forty masters; but they would not accept him either to
master or apprentice. Then he repaired to the Shaykh of the
Dyers and told him what had passed, and he said, "We admit no
strangers into our craft." Hereupon Abu Kir became exceeding
wroth and going up to the King of that city, made complaint to
him, saying, "O King of the age, I am a stranger and a dyer by
trade"; and he told him whatso had passed between himself and the
dyers of the town, adding, "I can dye various kinds of red, such
as rose-colour and jujubel-colour[FN#202] and various kinds of
green, such as grass-green and pistachio-green and olive and
parrot's wing, and various kinds of black, such as coal-black and
Kohl-black, and various shades of yellow, such as orange and
lemon-colour," and went on to name to him the rest of the
colours. Then said he, "O King of the age, all the dyers in thy
city can not turn out of hand any one of these tincts, for they
know not how to dye aught but blue; yet will they not admit me
amongst them, either to master or apprentice." Answered the
King, "Thou sayst sooth for that matter, but I will open to thee
a dyery and give thee capital and have thou no care anent them;
for whoso offereth to do thee let or hindrance, I will hang him
over his shop-door." Then he sent for builders and said to them,
"Go round about the city with this master-dyer, and whatsoever
place pleaseth him, be it shop or Khan or what not, turn out its
occupier and build him a dyery after his wish. Whatsoever he
biddeth you, that do ye and oppose him not in aught." And he
clad him in a handsome suit and gave him two white slaves to
serve him, and a horse with housings of brocade and a thousand
dinars, saying, "Expend this upon thyself against the building be
completed." Accordingly Abu Kir donned the dress and mounting
the horse, became as he were an Emir. Moreover the King assigned
him a house and bade furnish it; so they furnished it for
him.--And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say
her permitted say.

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