A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V W X Z

A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Vol. VI

R >> Robert Dodsley >> A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Vol. VI




JUDGE.
Conscience, where hadst thou this letter?

CONSCIENCE.
It was put into my bosom by Lucre,
Willing me to keep secret our lascivious living.
I cannot but condemn us all in this thing.

JUDGE.
How now, malapert; stand you still in defence or no?
This letter declares thy guilty Conscience: how sayest thou,
is it not so?
Tell me, why standest thou in a maze? speak quickly.
Hadst thou thy tongue so liberal, and now stand to study?

LUCRE.
O Conscience! thou hast kill'd me; by thee I am overthrown.

JUDGE.
It is happy that by Conscience thy abhomination is known:
Wherefore I pronounce judgment against thee on this wise:
Thou shalt pass to the place of darkness, where thou shalt hear
fearful cries;
Weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, and torment without end;
Burning in the lake of fire and brimstone, because thou canst not amend.
Wherefore, Diligence, convey her hence: throw her down to the lowest hell,
Where the infernal sprites and damned ghosts do dwell;
And bring forth Love!
[_Exit_ LUCRE _and_ DILIGENCE.

_Let_ LUCRE _make ready for_ LOVE _quickly, and come with_ DILIGENCE.

Declare the cause, Conscience, at large how thou comest so spotted,
Whereby many by thee hath been greatly infected;
For under the colour of Conscience thou deceived'st many,
Causing them to defile the temple of God, which is man's body.
A clean conscience is a sacrifice, God's own resting-place:
Why wast thou then corrupted so, and spotted on thy face?

CONSCIENCE.
When Hospitality had his throat cut by Usury,
He oppressed me with cruelty and brought me to beggary,
Turning me out of house and home; and in the end
My gown to pay my rent to him I did send.
So, driven to that extremity, I have fallen to that you see;
Yet after judgment I hope of God's mercy.

JUDGE.
O Conscience, shall cankered coin corrupt thy heart?
Or shall want in this world cause thee to feel everlasting smart?
O Conscience, what a small time thou hast on earth to live:
Why dost thou not, then, to God all honour give?
Considering the time is everlasting that thou shalt live in bliss,
If by thy life thou rise from death to judgment, mercy, and forgiveness.

_Enter_ LOVE _with_ DILIGENCE.

Stand aside, Conscience. Bring Love to the bar.
What sayest thou to thy deformity: who was the cause.

LOVE.
Lady Lucre----

JUDGE.
Did Lucre choke thee so, that thou gavest thyself over unto Lust?
And did prodigal expenses cause thee in Dissimulation to trust?
Thou wast pure (Love), and art thou become a monster,
Bolstering thyself upon the lasciviousness of Lucre?
Love, answer for thyself: speak in thy defence.

LOVE.
I cannot choose but yield, confounded by Conscience.

JUDGE.
Then judgment I pronounce on thee, because thou followed Lucre,
Whereby thou hast sold thy soul, to feel like torment with her
Which torments comprehended are in the worm of Conscience,
Who raging still shall ne'er have end, a plague for thine offence.
Care shall be thy comfort, and sorrow thy life sustain,
Thou shalt be dying, yet never dead, but pining still in endless pain.
Diligence, convey her to Lucre: let that be her reward.
Because unto her cankered coin she gave her whole regard.
But as for Conscience, carry her to prison,
There to remain until the day of the general session.
Thus we make an end--
Knowing that the best of us all may amend:
Which God grant to his goodwill and pleasure,
That we be not corrupted with the unsatiate desire of vanishing
earthly treasure;
For covetousness is the cause of 'resting man's conscience:
Therefore restrain thy lust, and thou shalt shun the offence.


FINIS.






THE THREE LORDS & THREE LADIES OF LONDON



_EDITION

The pleasant and Stately Morall of the three Lordes and three Ladies
of London. With the great Joy and Pompe, Solemnized at their Mariages:
Commically interlaced with much honest Mirth, for pleasure and
recreation, among many Morall observations, and other important matters
of due Regard. By R.W. London, Printed by R. Thones, at the Rose and
Crowne neere Holburne Bridge_. 1590. 4º. Black letter. With an engraving
on the title.



_Enter, for the Preface, a Lady very richly attired,
representing London, having two Angels before her,
and two after her, with bright rapiers in their hands_.

LONDON _speaketh_.

Lo, gentles, thus the Lord doth London guard,
Not for my sake, but for his own delight;
For all in vain the sentinels watch and ward,
Except he keep the city day and night.
Now may my foes in vain both spurn and spite,
My foes, I mean, that London represent,
Guarded from heaven by angels excellent.

This blessing is not my sole benefit:
All England is, and so preserv'd hath been,
Not by man's strength, his policy and wit.
But by a power and Providence unseen;
Even for the love wherewith God loves our Queen,
In whom, for whom, by whom we do possess
More grace, more good, than London can express.

And that hath bred our plenty and our peace,
And they do breed the sports you come to see;
And joy it is that I enjoy increase.
My former fruits were lovely Ladies three;[230]
Now of three Lords to talk is London's glee:
Whose deeds I wish may to your liking frame,
For London bids you welcome to the same.

FINIS.



THE ACTORS' NAMES.

POLICY, |
POMP, | _The three Lords of London_.
PLEASURE, |

WIT, |
WEALTH, | _Their Pages_.
WILL, |

NEMO, _a grave old man_.

LOVE, |
LUCRE, | _Three Ladies of London_.
CONSCIENCE, |

HONEST INDUSTRY, |
PURE ZEAL, | _Three Sages_.
SINCERITY, |

PRIDE, |
AMBITION, | _Three Lords of Spain_.
TYRANNY, |

SHAME, |
TREACHERY, | _Their Pages_.
TERROR, |

DESIRE, |
DELIGHT, | _Three Lords of Lincoln_.
DEVOTION, |

SORROW, _a Jailor_.
SIMPLICITY, _a poor Freeman of London_.
PAINFUL PENURY, _his Wife_.
DILIGENCE, _a Post or an Officer_.

FEALTY, | _Two Heralds-at-Arms_.
SHEALTY, |

FRAUD, |
USURY, | _Four Gallants_.
DISSIMULATION, |
SIMONY, |

FALSEHOOD, | _Two that belong to_ FRAUD _and_ DISSIMULATION.
DOUBLE-DEALING. |




THE PLEASANT AND STATELY MORAL

OF

THE THREE LORDS OF LONDON.



_Enter the three Lords and their Pages: first_ POLICY, _with
his Page_ WIT _before him, bearing a shield; the impress a
tortoise, the word_ Providens securus: _next_ POMP, _with his
Page_ WEALTH _bearing his shield, the word_ Glory sans peere;
_the impress a lily; last_, PLEASURE, _his Page_ WILL, _his
impress a falcon; the word_ Pour Temps. POLICY _attired in
black_, POMP _in rich robes, and_ PLEASURE _in colours_.

POLICY
Here I advance my shield and hang it up,
To challenge him who ever dare deny
That one of those three London ladies rare
Ought not of right be match'd with Policy,
A London lord, the which I represent.

POMP.
And Pomp provides his challenge in his word,
_Glory sans peere_, claiming the one of them,
Not by compulsion, but by common right.
Yet, maugre men, my shield is here advanc'd
For one matchless. A London lady best
Beseemeth Pomp, a London lord, to have.

PLEASURE.
Pleasure hath soar'd, as doth his impress show,
To look aloof on earthly ladies all.
And never could my curious eye discern
A dame of worth for London Pleasure's love,
But one, and she doth shine as silver dove.
Of self-bred soil, of London is her race;
For whom in challenge I my shield advance.

POLICY.
Thus each in honour of his mistress,
And in regard of his well-daring mind,
Hath here empris'd the challenge of his right.
But, lordships both and brethren bred and sworn,
A caution must be had in this conceit,
That all our thoughts aspire not to one heaven,
Nor all our ships do sail for one self haven;
I mean, that all our suits and services
We tend and tender to one only dame,
All choosing one, refusing th'other two.

POMP.
A great mislike amongst us that might breed.

PLEASURE.
I seek but one, and her unto myself.

POMP.
And one I wish sans partner of my love.

POLICY.
It stands with honour to be sole or none.

POMP.
Whom lovest thou, Pleasure?

PLEASURE.
Hark ye. [_Whisper in his ear_.

POMP.
Tush! ye lie.

WILL.
If my master were a soldier, that word would have the stab.

WIT.
Well, Will, still you'll be a saucy scab.

POMP.
Why, Pleasure, hath Pomp[231] chosen Lucre's love?

PLEASURE.
Why, Pomp, but [because] Pleasure honours Lucre most.

POLICY.
And Policy may Lady Lucre gain
Before you both, but let us not contend.
For Nemo doth the ladies prisoners keep,
Though they were slandered late with liberty,
And marriage to three far-born foreigners.
Then, first it fits we practise their release,
And see them, and by sight our liking please;[232]
For yet we love, as gossips tell their tales,
By hearsay: fame, not favour, hath us yet inflam'd.

POMP.
Lord Policy with reason hath discuss'd;
Pleasure, consent; and so our love shall hold.

PLEASURE.
Ye never found that London's Pleasure err'd
From reason, or from Pomp and Policy.

POLICY.
Come on, sir boy, attend you well your charge: [_To his Page_ WIT.
Wait in this place to watch and ward this shield.
If any man, in honour of his love,
So hardy he with stroke of sword to attaint
This shield, and challenge him that hereby challengeth,
Say for thy lord, as should a trusty page,
That Policy doth dare him to perform
A hardier task than common challengers.
If he demand what Policy may be,
A lord of London, say--one of the three.

POMP.
And you, sir boy, for Pomp perform the like; [_To_ WEALTH.
Bid him, that dare his impress batter once,
Be well advis'd he be no beggar's brat,
Nor base of courage, nor of bad conceit,
To match himself with such magnificence,
As fits Lord Pomp of London for his love:
Call, if he come that can encounter me,
[F]or move me not for each envious swad.

PLEASURE.
Will, be not wanton, nor of wayward mood: [_To_ WILL.
Wait as do these; use faith and diligence,
And mark him well that dare disdain this shield,
Which London's lord, that Pleasure hath to name,
Hath here advanc'd in honour of his dame.
I bid thee mark him well, whate'er he be,
That London's Pleasure doth in malice scorn,
For he's a rascal or a stranger born.
Good boy, mark well his gesture and his look,
His eye, his gait, his weapon, and attire,
And dog him to his lodging or his den,
For I will make him scum and scorn of men.
No better boy than Will, when Will is pleas'd
Be pleas'd, my boy, and so be my good Will.

POLICY.
And so, good boys, farewell; look to your charge.
Watch well, good Wit, who scorneth London's Policy;
Be wary, Wit, for thou canst well discern.

POMP.
Wealth, watch for Pomp, for thou canst well defend.

PLEASURE.
Will can do something too, when pleaseth him.

[_Exeunt the three Lords_.

WIT.
Will is a good boy, where better is none.

WILL.
Nay, Wit were the best boy, if Will were gone.

WEALTH.
Nay, Wealth is the best boy, sirs: let that alone.

WIT.
I-wis he say'th true, Will: this Wealth's a gay lad.

WILL.
I care not for him, curmudgeonly swad.

WEALTH.
Well, miss me awhile, and you'll go near to be sad.

WIT.
Will, ye are Will-fool, if of him ye be not glad.

WILL.
Nay, Wit, if thou want him, thou'lt go near to be mad.

WEALTH.
To keep us still quiet I would other talk we had.

WIT.
I hope we'll not fall out, being none but three.

WEALTH.
If Wealth were away, Wit and Will would agree.

WILL.
Nay, Wit and Will are at strife, when there's nobody but me.

WIT.
Let pass, and of our shields, sirs, let's make a little glee.
Will, what gives thy master here? a buzzard or a kite?

WILL.
Wit, you show yourself a gentleman by guessing so right.
A buzzard? thou buzzard! Wit, hast no more skill,
Than take a falcon for a buzzard?

WIT.
O be quiet, good Will:
It was but for sport, for I know the bird else.

WEALTH.
Thou mightest see it was no buzzard, man, by the bells.[233]

WIT.
What's the reason of this falcon? I pray thee, Will, show.

WILL.
Thou knowest that a falcon soars high, and stoops low:
So doth Pleasure.

WIT.
But what's the word?

WILL.
_Pour temps_, for time.

WIT.
A very pretty one: I would it were in rhyme.

WEALTH.
In rhyme, Wit! why so?

WIT.
Because it wants reason.

WILL.
Look for my fist, Wit, if ye rap out such treason.

WIT.
Treason to what, boy?

WILL.
To my master's bird.

WIT.
Now, Will, my thumb wags: it was but to his word.

WILL.
'Tis a pleasant gentleman, this young Master Wit.
Your master hath something too: I pray ye, what's it?

WIT.
Look, Will, and guess.

WILL.
'Tis a toad in a shell.

WEALTH.
I had as lief ye had said a frog in a well.

WIT.
Is't not a great butterfly? Will, can'st thou tell?

WILL.
What is it in sadness?

WIT.
A tortoise, my boy; whose shell is so hard that a loaden cart may go
over and not break it, and so she is safe within, and wheresoever she
goes she bears it on her back, needing neither other succour or shelter,
but her shell. The word underneath her is _Providens securus_, the
provident is safe, like the tortoise armed with his own defence, and
defended with his own armour; in shape somewhat round, signifying
compass, wherein always the provident foresee to keep themselves within
their own compass, my boy.

WILL.
Wittily spoken. Now, Wealth's master hath got a daffadowndilly.

WEALTH.
If Will had not been wilful, now, he might have said a lily, whose
glory is without comparison and beauty matchless; for Solomon, the most
sumptuous king that ever was, was never comparable in glory with the
lily; neither is there any city matchable with the pomp of London.
Mistake me not, good boys, that this pomp tends to pride; yet London
hath enough, but my Lord Pomp doth rightly represent the stately
magnificence and sumptuous estate, without pride or vainglory, to
London accommodate; and therefore the word is well applied to the
impress (_Glory sans peere_), for that the lily is neither proud of the
beauty, nor vainglorious of the pomp; no more is London; but if it be
joyful of anything, it is of the grace and plenty, both flowing from
two such fountains as becomes not us to name. Now, therefore, my good
boys, know that my master is rather Magnificence than Pomp in bad sense,
and rather Pomp than Pride in the best sense.

WILL.
And my lord is not Pleasure sprung of Voluptuousness, but of such
honourable and kind conceit as heaven and humanity well brooks and
allows: Pleasure pleasing, not pernicious.

WIT.
Who would have thought that Will had been so philosophous? But what
means the word _Pour temps_ in the shield for time?

WILL.
Wit, shall I call the[e] fool? the best pleasure of all lasts but a time:
For of all pleasures most pleasing to sight,
Methinks there is none to the falcon's high flight;
Yet diseases end it: the breach of a wing,
Nay, the breach of a feather, spoils that sweet thing.

WIT.
And so my master hath the 'vantage, will ye or no.
Pomp and Pleasure may be ill.

WILL.
May not Policy be bad?

WEALTH.
Wit, well-overtaken by Will, that crafty lad.

WIT.
A crafty goose: the gander gives him health.
Bad Policy's seldom found in so Christian a commonwealth
As London is, I trust, where my master is a lord.

WILL.
And ours so too.

WEALTH.
Well, let us accord;
For Wit's a good thing, yet may be ill-applied.

WIT.
And so may Wealth, be it employed in pride,
And Will worst of all, when it disdains a guide.

WILL.
A Jackanapes hath wit.

WIT.
And so he hath Will.

WEALTH.
But he never hath Wealth: now ye are both still.

WIT.
Yes, he wears a chain.[234]

WILL.
Well-spoke, and like a bearward.

WEALTH.
If ye be _non plus_, let the matter fall.

WILL.
Wit, dost thou see? thus goes Wealth away with all.

WIT.
Let's reason no further, for we shall have glee.
Here is a challenger to our shields: step we aside.

_Enter_ SIMPLICITY _in bare black, like a poor citizen_.

WILL.
He will eat them, I think, for he gapes very wide.

WEALTH.
Say nothing to him, and ye shall see the fool go by.

WILL.
Sirrah, gape not so wide for fear of a fly.

SIMPLICITY.
Fly, flam-flurt! Why, can a fly do hurt?

WIT.
Yea, have ye not heard that the fly hath her spleen,
And the ant her gall?

SIMPLICITY.
My uncle hath so, I ween; for it's an angry old fellow,
When his gall runs over: children, good day;
Whose pretty lads are you three?

WIT.
Three! are you sure?

SIMPLICITY.
I'll not swear, till I have told you: one, two, three.

WILL.
I beshrew thee.

SIMPLICITY.
Me, boy? Why, I am beshrewed already, for I am married.

WEALTH.
Then, thou hast a wife.

SIMPLICITY.
Yea, I would thou hadd'st her, if thou could'st stay her tongue.

WEALTH.
I thy wife, man! Why, I am too young.

SIMPLICITY.
And I am too old. But in good earnest, good boys--be not angry that I
call you boys, for ye are no men yet: ye have no beards, and yet I have
seen boys angry for being called boys. Forsooth they would be called
youths: well, yet a boy is a boy, and a youth is a youth.--Well, if ye
be not ashamed of the boy, good boys, whose boys are ye?

WIT.
No whit ashamed, sir, of that that we are, nor ashamed at all of those
whom we serve? for boys we be, and as we be, we serve the three Lords
of London: to wit, Policy, Pomp, and Pleasure.

SIMPLICITY.
A pretty-spoken child, and a pretty wit.

WILL.
Wit's his name, indeed: are ye one of his godfathers, ye hit it so right?

SIMPLICITY.
It is more than I know: then, is thy name Wit, boy? Now, of mine honesty,
welcome, for I have wanted thee a great while.

WIT.
Welcome, sir! how so? why do ye entertain me so kindly? I cannot dwell
with you, for I have a master already.

SIMPLICITY.
So have I, too, but she learns me little wit--my wife, I mean. Well, all
this while I stand here, my wares are not abroad, and so I may lose both
my customers and market.

WEALTH.
Wares, sir! have ye wares? what wares do ye sell?

SIMPLICITY.
Truly, child, I sell ballads. Soft; whose wares are these that are up
already?[235] I paid rent for my standing, and other folks' wares shall
be placed afore mine? this is wise, indeed.

WIT.
O, the fineness of the wares, man, deserves to have good place.

SIMPLICITY.
They are fine indeed. Who sells them, can ye tell? Is he free?

WIT.
Our masters be: we wait on this ware, and yet we are no chapmen.

SIMPLICITY.
Chapmen: no, that's true, for you are no men: neither chapmen nor
chopmen, nor chipmen nor shipmen; but if ye be chappers, choppers, or
chippers, ye are but chapboys; and, chapboys, ye are double.

WILL.
Double! how is it? Teach me that, and you will make me laugh a little.

WEALTH.
And me a little.

WIT.
And me a little.

SIMPLICITY.
Then your three little laughs will make one great laugh.

WIT.
True; for if three fools were one fool, that were a great fool.
[_Points to_ SIMPLICITY.
But how are we double chapboys?

SIMPLICITY.
Because ye have two chaps, an upper chap and a nether chap.

WILL.
Ha, ha, ha!

WIT.
Ha, ha, ha!

WEALTH.
Ha, ha, ha!

SIMPLICITY.
You said you would laugh but a little, but you laugh a great deal:
why do ye laugh so much?

WILL.
Because your wit was so great in expounding your meaning.

SIMPLICITY.
Ye may see it is a good thing to have wit.

WIT.
I thank you, sir.

WEALTH.
And what say you to Wealth?

SIMPLICITY.
Wealth? Marry, Wealth is better.

WEALTH.
I thank you, sir.

WILL.
And how say you to Will?

SIMPLICITY.
Indeed, good Will is a great matter.

WILL.
Yea, between a maid and a bachelor.

SIMPLICITY.
Why, you are not in love, boy?

WILL.
Yes, but I am, and in charity too.

SIMPLICITY.
Charity! alas, poor child! thou in charity? ha, ha! now must I laugh.

WIT.
But you laugh a great while, and you laugh very loud.

SIMPLICITY.
Then, I owe you nothing for laughing, and you hear me the better.

WEALTH.
But now laugh not we.

SIMPLICITY.
No, you may be maddle-coddle.[236] Well, here's three passing fine lads,
if a man were able to keep them all. Let me see: Wealth! O, that's a
sweet lad: then Wit! O, that's a fine lad: Will: O, that's a pretty lad.
Will, Wit, and Wealth, God lend ye health. I would I could guile their
masters of two of them. If I had Fraud here, that served Lady Lucre, he
would teach me: he would teach me to 'tice one of them from his master.
Which of them, now, if a man should steal one? Will? nay, I care not for
Will, outsep[237] he be good-will. Wit? a pretty child, but a man cannot
live by wit. Wealth? Yea, marry, sir, I would I could win that Wealth,
for then I need neither Will nor Wit; nor I need sell no ballads, but
live like a mouse in a mill, and have another to grind my meal for me.
I'll have a fling at one of them anon.

WEALTH.
Do you not forget yourself, gaffer?

WIT.
Have ye not wares to sell, gaffer?

WILL.
When do you show, gaffer?

SIMPLICITY.
Well-rememb'red, pretty lad: ye may see children can teach old folks.
I am an unthrift, indeed. Well, my wares shall out now. But, sirs,
how sell you your wares? How many of these for a groat?

WEALTH.
Our wares are not to be sold.

SIMPLICITY.
Not for silver nor gold? Why hang they, then, in the open market?

WILL.
To be seen, not bought.

SIMPLICITY.
Then they are like ripe plums upon a rich man's tree, that set men's
teeth a-watering, when they are not to be bought. But what call you
these things?

WIT.
Scutcheons.

SIMPLICITY.
Cushions? Alas! it were pity to sit on such fine cushions. But come,
my boys, if you'll buy any of my wares, here's my stall, and I'll
open and show straight.

WEALTH.
What dainty fine ballad have you now to be sold?

SIMPLICITY.
Marry, child, I have _Chipping-Norton, a mile from Chapel o' th' Heath
--a lamentable ballad of burning the Pope's dog; the sweet ballad of
the Lincolnshire bagpipes_[238]; and _Peggy and Willy:--But now he is
dead and gone: Mine own sweet Willy is laid in his grave. La, la, la,
lan ti dan derry, dan da dan, lan ti dan, dan tan derry, dan do_.

WIT.
It is a doleful discourse, and sung as dolefully.

SIMPLICITY.
Why, you cannot mend it, can ye?

WIT.
What will you lay on that? for I myself dare lay six groats to six of
your bald ballads, that you yourself shall say I sing better than you.

SIMPLICITY.
What a brag-boy is this, to comparison with a man! But, boy, boy,
I will not lay six ballads to six groats, but I will lay six ballads
to six jerks at your buttocks, that you shall not sing so well as I.

WIT.
That I shall not? No! possible, you will not let me sing?

SIMPLICITY.
I not let you! Is that spoken like Wit? It is spoken like a woodcock:
how can I stay thee, if thou wilt sing out thy throat?

WIT.
Well, then, to our bargain: six ballads to six stripes, and who shall
keep stakes?

SIMPLICITY.
Neither of your companions; for that's, ask my fellow, if I be a thief.

WILL.
Will you keep the stakes yourself?

SIMPLICITY.
Best of all, for I mean plainly, and will pay, if I lose. Here's my six
ballads: they be ready. Now, how shall I come by your six stripes, boy?

WIT.
Down with your breeches, I'll fetch a rod and deliver them straight.

SIMPLICITY.
Nay, then, I care not, if thou keep stakes.

WIT.
You speak too late, gaffer, having challenged preheminence.

SIMPLICITY.
Then, let's lay no wager, but sing for good fellowship.

WIT.
Agreed. Who shall begin?

SIMPLICITY.
O boy! who is the elder? Hast thou not heard, give flounders to thy elder?

WIT.
You mistake the fish: trust me, I am sure 'tis give plaice; but
begin with a good grace.

[_Here_ SlMP. _sings first and_ WIT _after, dialoguewise:
both to music, if ye will_.

WIT.
Now, sirs, which sings best?

SIMPLICITY.
Tush, your copesmates shall not judge.
Friend, what say you? which of us sings best?
[_To one of the auditory_.

WILL.
To say truth, there's but a bad choice. How will you sell the ballad
you sang, for I'll not buy the voice?

SIMPLICITY.
Why wilt thou not buy my voice?

WILL.
Because it will cost me more money to buy sallet-oil to keep it from
rusting, than it is worth. But, I pray ye, honest man, what's this?

SIMPLICITY.
Read, and thou shalt see.

WILL.
I cannot read.

SIMPLICITY.
Not read, and brought up in London! Went'st thou never to school?

WILL.
Yes, but I would not learn.

SIMPLICITY.
Thou wast the more fool. If thou cannot read, I'll tell thee. This is
Tarlton's picture. Didst thou never know Tarlton?[239]

WILL.
No: what was that Tarlton? I never knew him.

SIMPLICITY.
What was he? A prentice in his youth of this honourable city, God be
with him. When he was young, he was leaning to the trade that my wife
useth now, and I have used, _vide lice shirt_,[240] water-bearing.
I-wis, he hath toss'd a tankard in Corn-hill ere now: If thou knew'st
him not, I will not call thee ingram;[241] but if thou knewest not him,
thou knewest nobody. I warrant, here's two crack-ropes knew him.

WIT.
I dwelt with him.

SIMPLICITY.
Didst thou? now, give me thy hand: I love thee the better.

WILL.
And I, too, sometime.

SIMPLICITY.
You, child! did you dwell with him sometime?
Wit dwelt with him, indeed, as appeared by his rhyme,
And served him well; and Will was with him now and then. But, soft, thy
name is Wealth: I think in earnest he was little acquainted with thee.
O, it was a fine fellow, as e'er was born:
There will never come his like, while the earth can corn.
O passing fine Tarlton! I would thou hadst lived yet.

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