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Woodstock; or, The Cavalier

S >> Sir Walter Scott >> Woodstock; or, The Cavalier




CHAPTER THE TENTH.


Here we have one head
Upon two bodies,--your two-headed bullock
Is but an ass to such a prodigy.

These two have but one meaning, thought, and counsel:
And when the single noddle has spoke out,
The four legs scrape assent to it.
OLD PLAY.

In the goodly form of the honest Mayor, there was a bustling mixture of
importance and embarrassment, like the deportment of a man who was
conscious that he had an important part to act, if he could but exactly
discover what that part was. But both were mingled with much pleasure at
seeing Everard, and he frequently repeated his welcomes and all-hails
before he could be brought to attend to what that gentleman said in
reply.

"Good, worthy Colonel, you are indeed a desirable sight to Woodstock at
all times, being, as I may say, almost our townsman, as you have dwelt
so much and so long at the palace. Truly, the matter begins almost to
pass my wit, though I have transacted the affairs of this borough for
many a long day; and you are come to my assistance like, like"--

"_Tanquam Deus ex machina_, as the Ethnic poet hath it," said Master
Holdenough, "although I do not often quote from such books.--Indeed,
Master Markham Everard,--or worthy Colonel, as I ought rather to
say--you are simply the most welcome man who has come to Woodstock since
the days of old King Harry."

"I had some business with you, my good friend," said the Colonel,
addressing the Mayor; "I shall be glad if it should so happen at the
same time, that I may find occasion to pleasure you or your worthy
pastor."

"No question you can do so, good sir;" interposed Master Holdenough;
"you have the heart, sir, and you have the hand; and we are much in want
of good counsel, and that from a man of action. I am aware, worthy
Colonel, that you and your worthy father have ever borne yourselves in
these turmoils like men of a truly Christian and moderate spirit,
striving to pour oil into the wounds of the land, which some would rub
with vitriol and pepper: and we know you are faithful children of that
church which we have reformed from its papistical and prelatical
tenets."

"My good and reverend friend," said Everard, "I respect the piety and
learning of many of your teachers; but I am also for liberty of
conscience to all men. I neither side with sectaries, nor do I desire to
see them the object of suppression by violence."

"Sir, sir," said the Presbyterian, hastily, "all this hath a fair sound;
but I would you should think what a fine country and church we are like
to have of it, amidst the errors, blasphemies, and schisms, which are
daily introduced into the church and kingdom of England, so that worthy
Master Edwards, in his Gangrena, declareth, that our native country is
about to become the very sink and cess-pool of all schisms, heresies,
blasphemies, and confusions, as the army of Hannibal was said to be the
refuse of all nations--_Colluvies omnium gentium_.--Believe me, worthy
Colonel, that they of the Honourable House view all this over lightly,
and with the winking connivance of old Eli. These instructors, the
schismatics, shoulder the orthodox ministers out of their pulpits,
thrust themselves into families, and break up the peace thereof,
stealing away men's hearts from the established faith."

"My good Master Holdenough," replied the Colonel, interrupting the
zealous preacher, "there is ground of sorrow for all these unhappy
discords; and I hold with you, that the fiery spirits of the present
time have raised men's minds at once above sober-minded and sincere
religion, and above decorum and common sense. But there is no help save
patience. Enthusiasm is a stream that may foam off in its own time,
whereas it is sure to bear down every barrier which is directly opposed
to it.--But what are these schismatical proceedings to our present
purpose?"

"Why, partly this, sir," said Holdenough, "although perhaps you may make
less of it than I should have thought before we met.--I was myself--I,
Nehemiah Holdenough, (he added consequentially,) was forcibly expelled
from my own pulpit, even as a man should have been thrust out of his own
house, by an alien, and an intruder--a wolf, who was not at the trouble
even to put on sheep's clothing, but came in his native wolfish attire
of buff and bandalier, and held forth in my stead to the people, who are
to me as a flock to the lawful shepherd. It is too true, sir--Master
Mayor saw it, and strove to take such order to prevent it as man might,
though," turning to the Mayor, "I think still you might have striven a
little more."

"Good now, good Master Holdenough, do not let us go back on that
question," said the Mayor. "Guy of Warwick, or Bevis of Hampton, might
do something with this generation; but truly, they are too many and too
strong for the Mayor of Woodstock."

"I think Master Mayor speaks very good sense," said the Colonel; "if the
Independents are not allowed to preach, I fear me they will not
fight;--and then if you were to have another rising of cavaliers?"

"There are worse folks may rise than cavaliers," said Holdenough.

"How, sir?" replied Colonel Everard. "Let me remind you, Master
Holdenough, that is no safe language in the present state of the
nation."

"I say," said the Presbyterian, "there are worse folk may rise than
cavaliers; and I will prove what I say. The devil is worse than the
worst cavalier that ever drank a health, or swore an oath--and the devil
has arisen at Woodstock Lodge!"

"Ay, truly hath he," said the Mayor, "bodily and visibly, in figure and
form--An awful time we live in!"

"Gentlemen, I really know not how I am to understand you," said Everard.

"Why, it was even about the devil we came to speak with you," said the
Mayor; "but the worthy minister is always so hot upon the sectaries"--

"Which are the devil's brats, and nearly akin to him," said Master
Holdenough. "But true it is, that the growth of these sects has brought
up the Evil One even upon the face of the earth, to look after his own
interest, where he finds it most thriving."

"Master Holdenough," said the Colonel, "if you speak figuratively, I
have already told you that I have neither the means nor the skill
sufficient to temper these religious heats. But if you design to say
that there has been an actual apparition of the devil, I presume to
think that you, with your doctrine and your learning, would be a fitter
match for him than a soldier like me."

"True, sir; and I have that confidence in the commission which I hold,
that I would take the field against the foul fiend without a moment's
delay," said Holdenough; "but the place in which he hath of late
appeared, being Woodstock, is filled with those dangerous and impious
persons, of whom I have been but now complaining; and though, confident
in my own resources, I dare venture in disputation with their Great
Master himself; yet without your protection, most worthy Colonel, I see
not that I may with prudence trust myself with the tossing and goring ox
Desborough, or the bloody and devouring bear Harrison, or the cold and
poisonous snake Bletson--all of whom are now at the Lodge, doing license
and taking spoil as they think meet; and, as all men say, the devil hath
come to make a fourth with them."

"In good truth, worthy and noble sir," said the Mayor, "it is even as
Master Holdenough says--our privileges are declared void, our cattle
seized in the very pastures. They talk of cutting down and disparking
the fair Chase, which has been so long the pleasure of so many kings,
and making Woodstock of as little note as any paltry village. I assure
you we heard of your arrival with joy, and wondered at your keeping
yourself so close in your lodgings. We know no one save your father or
you, that are like to stand the poor burgesses' friend in this
extremity, since almost all the gentry around are malignants, and under
sequestration. We trust, therefore, you will make strong intercession in
our behalf."

"Certainly, Master Mayor," said the Colonel, who saw himself with
pleasure anticipated; "it was my very purpose to have interfered in this
matter; and I did but keep myself alone until I should be furnished with
some authority from the Lord-General."

"Powers from the Lord-General!" said the Mayor, thrusting the clergy-man
with his elbow--"Dost thou hear that?--What cock will fight that cock?--
We shall carry it now over their necks, and Woodstock shall be brave
Woodstock still!"

"Keep thine elbow from my side, friend," said Holdenough, annoyed by the
action which the Mayor had suited to his words; "and may the Lord send
that Cromwell prove not as sharp to the people of England as thy bones
against my person! Yet I approve that we should use his authority to
stop the course of these men's proceedings."

"Let us set out, then," said Colonel Everard; "and I trust we shall find
the gentlemen reasonable and obedient."

The functionaries, laic and clerical, assented with much joy; and the
Colonel required and received Wildrake's assistance in putting on his
cloak and rapier, as if he had been the dependent whose part he acted.
The cavalier contrived, however, while doing him these menial offices,
to give his friend a shrewd pinch, in order to maintain the footing of
secret equality betwixt them.

The Colonel was saluted, as they passed through the streets, by many of
the anxious inhabitants, who seemed to consider his intervention as
affording the only chance of saving their fine Park, and the rights of
the corporation, as well as of individuals, from ruin and confiscation.

As they entered the Park, the Colonel asked his companions, "What is
this you say of apparitions being seen amongst them?"

"Why, Colonel," said the clergyman, "you know yourself that Woodstock
was always haunted?"

"I have lived therein many a day," said the Colonel; "and I know I never
saw the least sign of it, although idle people spoke of the house as
they do of all old mansions, and gave the apartments ghosts and spectres
to fill up the places of as many of the deceased great, as had ever
dwelt there."

"Nay, but, good Colonel," said the clergyman, "I trust you have not
reached the prevailing sin of the times, and become indifferent to the
testimony in favour of apparitions, which appears so conclusive to all
but atheists, and advocates for witches?"

"I would not absolutely disbelieve what is so generally affirmed," said
the Colonel; "but my reason leads me to doubt most of the stories which
I have heard of this sort, and my own experience never went to confirm
any of them."

"Ay, but trust me," said Holdenough, "there was always a demon of one or
the other species about this Woodstock. Not a man or woman in the town
but has heard stories of apparitions in the forest, or about the old
castle. Sometimes it is a pack of hounds, that sweep along, and the
whoops and halloos of the huntsmen, and the winding of horns and the
galloping of horse, which is heard as if first more distant, and then
close around you--and then anon it is a solitary huntsman, who asks if
you can tell him which way the stag has gone. He is always dressed in
green; but the fashion of his clothes is some five hundred years old.
This is what we call Demon Meridianum--the noon-day spectre."

"My worthy and reverend sir," said the Colonel, "I have lived at
Woodstock many seasons, and have traversed the Chase at all hours. Trust
me, what you hear from the villagers is the growth of their idle folly
and superstition."

"Colonel," replied Holdenough, "a negative proves nothing. What
signifies, craving your pardon, that you have not seen anything, be it
earthly or be it of the other world, to detract from the evidence of a
score of people who have?--And besides, there is the Demon Nocturnum--
the being that walketh by night; he has been among these Independents
and schismatics last night. Ay, Colonel, you may stare; but it is even
so--they may try whether he will mend their gifts, as they profanely
call them, of exposition and prayer. No, sir, I trow, to master the foul
fiend there goeth some competent knowledge of theology, and an
acquaintance of the humane letters, ay, and a regular clerical education
and clerical calling."

"I do not in the least doubt," said the Colonel, "the efficacy of your
qualifications to lay the devil; but still I think some odd mistake has
occasioned this confusion amongst them, if there has any such in reality
existed. Desborough is a blockhead, to be sure; and Harrison is fanatic
enough to believe anything. But there is Bletson, on the other hand, who
believes nothing.--What do you know of this matter, good Master Mayor?"

"In sooth, and it was Master Bletson who gave the first alarm," replied
the magistrate; "or, at least, the first distinct one. You see, sir, I
was in bed with my wife, and no one else; and I was as fast asleep as a
man can desire to be at two hours after midnight, when, behold you, they
came knocking at my bedroom door, to tell me there was an alarm in
Woodstock, and that the bell of the Lodge was ringing at that dead hour
of the night as hard as ever it rung when it called the court to
dinner."

"Well, but the cause of this alarm?" said the Colonel.

"You shall hear, worthy Colonel, you shall hear," answered the Mayor,
waving his hand with dignity; for he was one of those persons who will
not be hurried out of their own pace. "So Mrs. Mayor would have
persuaded me, in her love and affection, poor wretch, that to rise at
such an hour out of my own warm bed, was like to bring on my old
complaint the lumbago, and that I should send the people to Alderman
Dutton.--Alderman Devil, Mrs. Mayor, said I;--I beg your reverence's
pardon for using such a phrase--Do you think I am going to lie a-bed
when the town is on fire, and the cavaliers up, and the devil to pay;--I
beg pardon again, parson.--But here we are before the gate of the
Palace; will it not please you to enter?"

"I would first hear the end of your story," said the Colonel; "that is,
Master Mayor, if it happens to have an end."

"Every thing hath an end," said the Mayor, "and that which we call a
pudding hath two.--Your worship will forgive me for being facetious.
Where was I?--Oh, I jumped out of bed, and put on my red plush breeches,
with the blue nether stocks, for I always make a point of being dressed
suitably to my dignity, night and day, summer or winter, Colonel
Everard; and I took the Constable along with me, in case the alarm
should be raised by night-walkers or thieves, and called up worthy
Master Holdenough out of his bed, in case it should turn out to be the
devil. And so I thought I was provided for the worst, and so away we
came; and, by and by, the soldiers who came to the town with Master
Tomkins, who had been called to arms, came marching down to Woodstock as
fast as their feet would carry them; so I gave our people the sign to
let them pass us, and out-march us, as it were, and this for a twofold
reason."

"I will be satisfied," interrupted the Colonel, "with one good reason.
You desired the red-coats should have the _first_ of the fray?"

"True, sir, very true;--and also that they should have the _last_ of it,
in respect that fighting is their especial business. However, we came on
at a slow pace, as men who are determined to do their duty without fear
or favour, when suddenly we saw something white haste away up the avenue
towards the town, when six of our constables and assistants fled at
once, as conceiving it to be an apparition called the White Woman of
Woodstock."

"Look you there, Colonel," said Master Holdenough, "I told you there
were demons of more kinds than one, which haunt the ancient scenes of
royal debauchery and cruelty."

"I hope you stood your own ground, Master Mayor?" said the Colonel.

"I--yes--most assuredly--that is, I did not, strictly speaking, keep my
ground; but the town-clerk and I retreated--retreated, Colonel, and
without confusion or dishonour, and took post behind worthy Master
Holdenough, who, with the spirit of a lion, threw himself in the way of
the supposed spectre, and attacked it with such a siserary of Latin as
might have scared the devil himself, and thereby plainly discovered that
it was no devil at all, nor white woman, neither woman of any colour,
but worshipful Master Bletson, a member of the House of Commons, and one
of the commissioners sent hither upon this unhappy sequestration of the
Wood, Chase, and Lodge of Woodstock."

"And this was all you saw of the demon?" said the Colonel.

"Truly, yes," answered the Mayor; "and I had no wish to see more.
However, we conveyed Master Bletson, as in duty bound, back to the
Lodge, and he was ever maundering by the way how that he met a party of
scarlet devils incarnate marching down to the Lodge; but, to my poor
thinking, it must have been the Independent dragoons who had just passed
us."

"And more incarnate devils I would never wish to see," said Wildrake,
who could remain silent no longer. His voice, so suddenly heard, showed
how much the Mayor's nerves were still alarmed, far he started and
jumped aside with an alacrity of which no one would at first sight
suppose a man of his portly dignity to have been capable. Everard
imposed silence on his intrusive attendant; and, desirous to hear the
conclusion of this strange story, requested the Mayor to tell him how
the matter ended, and whether they stopped the supposed spectre.

"Truly, worthy sir," said the Mayor, "Master Holdenough was quite
venturous upon confronting, as it were, the devil, and compelling him to
appear under the real form of Master Joshua Bletson, member of
Parliament for the borough of Littlefaith."

"In sooth, Master Mayor," said the divine, "I were strangely ignorant of
my own commission and its immunities, if I were to value opposing myself
to Satan, or any Independent in his likeness, all of whom, in the name
of Him I serve, I do defy, spit at, and trample under my feet; and
because Master Mayor is something tedious, I will briefly inform your
honour that we saw little of the Enemy that night, save what Master
Bletson said in the first feeling of his terrors, and save what we might
collect from the disordered appearance of the Honourable Colonel
Desborough and Major-General Harrison."

"And what plight were they in, I pray you?" demanded the Colonel.

"Why, worthy sir, every one might see with half an eye that they had
been engaged in a fight wherein they had not been honoured with perfect
victory; seeing that General Harrison was stalking up and down the
parlour, with his drawn sword in his hand, talking to himself, his
doublet unbuttoned, his points untrussed, his garters loose, and like to
throw him down as he now and then trode on them, and gaping and grinning
like a mad player. And yonder sate Desborough with a dry pottle of sack
before him, which he had just emptied, and which, though the element in
which he trusted, had not restored him sense enough to speak, or courage
enough to look over his shoulder. He had a Bible in his hand, forsooth,
as if it would of itself make battle against the Evil One; but I peered
over his shoulder, and, alas! the good gentleman held the bottom of the
page uppermost. It was as if one of your musketeers, noble and valued
sir, were to present the butt of his piece at the enemy instead of the
muzzle--ha, ha, ha! it was a sight to judge of schismatics by; both in
point of head, and in point of heart, in point of skill, and in point of
courage. Oh! Colonel, then was the time to see the true character of an
authorised pastor of souls over those unhappy men, who leap into the
fold without due and legal authority, and will, forsooth, preach, teach,
and exhort, and blasphemously term the doctrine of the Church saltless
porridge and dry chips!"

"I have no doubt you were ready to meet the danger, reverend sir; but I
would fain know of what nature it was, and from whence it was to be
apprehended?"

"Was it for me to make such inquiry?" said the clergyman, triumphantly.
"Is it for a brave soldier to number his enemies, or inquire from what
quarter they are to come? No, sir, I was there with match lighted,
bullet in my mouth, and my harquebuss shouldered, to encounter as many
devils as hell could pour in, were they countless as motes in the
sunbeam, and although they came from all points of the compass. The
Papists talk of the temptation of St. Anthony--pshaw! let them double
all the myriads which the brain of a crazy Dutch painter hath invented,
and you will find a poor Presbyterian divine--I will answer for one at
least,--who, not in his own strength, but his Master's, will receive the
assault in such sort, that far from returning against him as against
yonder poor hound, day after day, and night after night, he will at once
pack them off as with a vengeance to the uttermost parts of Assyria!"

"Still," said the Colonel, "I pray to know whether you saw anything upon
which to exercise your pious learning?"

"Saw?" answered the divine; "no, truly, I saw nothing, nor did I look
for anything. Thieves will not attack well-armed travellers, nor will
devils or evil spirits come against one who bears in his bosom the word
of truth, in the very language in which it was first dictated. No, sir,
they shun a divine who can understand the holy text, as a crow is said
to keep wide of a gun loaded with hailshot."

They had walked a little way back upon their road, to give time for this
conversation; and the Colonel, perceiving it was about to lead to no
satisfactory explanation of the real cause of alarm on the preceding
night, turned round, and observing it was time they should go to the
Lodge, began to move in that direction with his three companions.

It had now become dark, and the towers of Woodstock arose high above the
umbrageous shroud which the forest spread around the ancient and
venerable mansion. From one of the highest turrets, which could still be
distinguished as it rose against the clear blue sky, there gleamed a
light like that of a candle within the building. The Mayor stopt short,
and catching fast hold of the divine, and then of Colonel Everard,
exclaimed, in a trembling and hasty, but suppressed tone,

"Do you see yonder light?"

"Ay, marry do I," said Colonel Everard; "and what does that matter?--a
light in a garret-room of such an old mansion as Woodstock is no subject
of wonder, I trow."

"But a light from Rosamond's Tower is surely so," said the Mayor.

"True," said the Colonel, something surprised, when, after a careful
examination, he satisfied himself that the worthy magistrate's
conjecture was right. "That is indeed Rosamond's Tower; and as the
drawbridge, by which it was accessible has been destroyed for centuries,
it is hard to say what chance could have lighted a lamp in such an
inaccessible place."

"That light burns with no earthly fuel," said the Mayor; "neither from
whale nor olive oil, nor bees-wax, nor mutton-suet either. I dealt in
these commodities, Colonel, before I went into my present line; and I
can assure you I could distinguish the sort of light they give, one from
another, at a greater distance than yonder turret--Look you, that is no
earthly flame.--See you not something blue and reddish upon the edges?--
that bodes full well where it comes from.--Colonel, in my opinion we had
better go back to sup at the town, and leave the Devil and the red-coats
to settle their matters together for to-night; and then when we come
back the next morning, we will have a pull with the party that chances
to keep a-field."

"You will do as you please, Master Mayor," said Everard, "but my duty
requires me that I should see the Commissioners to-night."

"And mine requires me to see the foul Fiend," said Master Holdenough,
"if he dare make himself visible to me. I wonder not that, knowing who
is approaching, he betakes himself to the very citadel, the inner and
the last defences of this ancient and haunted mansion. He is dainty, I
warrant you, and must dwell where is a relish of luxury and murder about
the walls of his chamber. In yonder turret sinned Rosamond, and in
yonder turret she suffered; and there she sits, or more likely, the
Enemy in her shape, as I have heard true men of Woodstock tell. I wait
on you, good Colonel--Master Mayor will do as he pleases. The strong man
hath fortified himself in his dwelling-house, but lo, there cometh
another stronger than he."

"For me," said the Mayor, "who am as unlearned as I am unwarlike, I will
not engage either--with the Powers of the Earth, or the Prince of the
Powers of the Air, and I would we were again at Woodstock;--and hark ye,
good fellow," slapping Wildrake on the shoulder, "I will bestow on thee
a shilling wet and a shilling dry if thou wilt go back with me."

"Gadzookers, Master Mayor," said, Wildrake, neither flattered by the
magistrate's familiarity of address, nor captivated by his munificence--
"I wonder who the devil made you and me fellows? and, besides, do you
think I would go back to Woodstock with your worshipful cods-head, when,
by good management, I may get a peep of fair Rosamond, and see whether
she was that choice and incomparable piece of ware, which the world has
been told of by rhymers and ballad-makers?"

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