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After A Shadow and Other Stories

T >> T. S. Arthur >> After A Shadow and Other Stories



CONTENTS.





I. AFTER A SHADOW.
II. IN THE WAY OF TEMPTATION.
III. ANDY LOVELL.
IV. A MYSTERY EXPLAINED.
V. WHAT CAN I DO?
VI. ON GUARD.
VII. A VISIT WITH THE DOCTOR.
VIII. HADN'T TIME FOR TROUBLE.
IX. A GOOD NAME.
X. LITTLE LIZZIE.
XI. ALICE AND THE PIGEON.
XII. DRESSED FOR A PARTY.
XIII. COFFEE VS. BRANDY.
XIV. AMY'S QUESTION.
XV. AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE.
XVI. WHICH WAS MOST THE LADY?
XVII. OTHER PEOPLE'S EYES.






AFTER A SHADOW,
AND OTHER STORIES.

I.

AFTER A SHADOW.





"ARTY! Arty!" called Mrs. Mayflower, from the window, one bright
June morning. "Arty, darling! What is the child after? Just look at
him, Mr. Mayflower!"

I leaned from the window, in pleasant excitement, to see what new
and wonderful performance had been attempted by my little prodigy--my
first born--my year old bud of beauty, the folded leaves in whose
bosom were just beginning to loosen themselves, and send out upon
the air sweet intimations of an abounding fragrance. He had escaped
from his nurse, and was running off in the clear sunshine, the slant
rays of which threw a long shadow before him.

"Arty, darling!" His mother's voice flew along and past his ear,
kissing it in gentle remonstrance as it went by. But baby was in
eager pursuit of something, and the call, if heard, was unheeded.
His eyes were opening world-ward, and every new
phenomenon--commonplace and unheeded by us--that addressed itself to
his senses, became a wonder and a delight. Some new object was
drawing him away from the loving heart and protecting arm.

"Run after him, Mr. Mayflower!" said my wife, with a touch of
anxiety in her voice. "He might fall and hurt himself."

I did not require a second intimation as to my duty in the case.
Only a moment or two elapsed before I was on the pavement, and
making rapid approaches towards my truant boy.

"What is it, darling? What is Arty running after?" I said, as I laid
my hand on his arm, and checked his eager speed. He struggled a
moment, and then stood still, stooping forward for something on the
ground.

"O, papa see!" There was a disappointed and puzzled look in his face
as he lifted his eyes to mine. He failed to secure the object of his
pursuit.

"What is it, sweet?" My eyes followed his as they turned upon the
ground.

He stooped again, and caught at something; and again looked up in a
perplexed, half-wondering way.

"Why, Arty!" I exclaimed, catching him up in my arms. "It's only
your shadow! Foolish child!" And I ran back to Mrs. Mayflower, with
my baby-boy held close against my heart.

"After a shadow!" said I, shaking my head, a little soberly, as I
resigned Arty to his mother. "So life begins--and so it ends! Poor
Arty!"

Mrs. Mayflower laughed out right merrily.

"After a shadow! Why, darling!" And she kissed and hugged him in
overflowing tenderness.

"So life begins--so it ends," I repeated to myself, as I left the
house, and walked towards my store. "Always in pursuit of shadows!
We lose to-day's substantial good for shadowy phantoms that keep our
eyes ever in advance, and our feet ever hurrying forward. No
pause--no ease--no full enjoyment of _now_. O, deluded heart!--ever
bartering away substance for shadow!"

I grow philosophic sometimes. Thought will, now and then, take up a
passing incident, and extract the moral. But how little the wiser
are we for moralizing! we look into the mirror of truth, and see
ourselves--then turn away, and forget what manner of men we are.
Better for us if it were not so; if we remembered the image that
held our vision.

The shadow lesson was forgotten by the time I reached my store, and
thought entered into business with its usual ardor. I buried myself,
amid letters, invoices, accounts, samples, schemes for gain, and
calculations of profit. The regular, orderly progression of a fair
and well-established business was too slow for my outreaching
desires. I must drive onward at a higher speed, and reach the goal
of wealth by a quicker way. So my daily routine was disturbed by
impatient aspirations. Instead of entering, in a calm
self-possession of every faculty, into the day's appropriate work,
and finding, in its right performance, the tranquil state that ever
comes as the reward of right-doing in the right place, I spent the
larger part of this day in the perpetration of a plan for increasing
my gains beyond, anything heretofore achieved.

"Mr. Mayflower," said one of the clerks, coming back to where I sat
at my private desk, busy over my plan, "we have a new man in from
the West; a Mr. B----, from Alton. He wants to make a bill of a
thousand dollars. Do you know anything about him?"

Now, even this interruption annoyed me. What was a new customer and
a bill of a thousand dollars to me just at that moment of time? I
saw tens of thousands in prospective.

"Mr. B----, of Alton?" said I, affecting an effort of memory. "Does he
look like a fair man?"

"I don't recall him. Mr. B----? Hum-m-m. He impresses you favorably,
Edward?"

"Yes, sir; but it may be prudent to send and get a report."

"I'll see to that, Edward," said I. "Sell him what he wants. If
everything is not on the square, I'll give you the word in time.
It's all right, I've no doubt."

"He's made a bill at Kline & Co.'s, and wants his goods sent there
to be packed," said my clerk.

"Ah, indeed! Let him have what he wants, Edward. If Kline & Co. sell
him, we needn't hesitate."

And turning to my desk, my plans, and my calculations, I forgot all
about Mr. B----, and the trifling bill of a thousand dollars that he
proposed buying. How clear the way looked ahead! As thought created
the means of successful adventure, and I saw myself moving forward
and grasping results, the whole circle of life took a quicker
motion, and my mind rose into a pleasant enthusiasm. Then I grew
impatient for the initiatory steps that were to come, and felt as if
the to-morrow, in which they must be taken, would never appear. A
day seemed like a week or a month.

Six o'clock found me in not a very satisfactory state of mind. The
ardor of my calculations had commenced abating. Certain elements,
not seen and considered in the outset, were beginning to assume
shape and consequence, and to modify, in many essential particulars,
the grand result towards which I had been looking with so much
pleasure. Shadowy and indistinct became the landscape, which seemed
a little while before so fair and inviting. A cloud settled down
upon it here, and a cloud there, breaking up its unity, and
destroying much of its fair proportion. I was no longer mounting up,
and moving forwards on the light wing of a castle-building
imagination, but down upon the hard, rough ground, coming back into
the consciousness that all progression, to be sure, must be slow and
toilsome.

I had the afternoon paper in my hands, and was running my eyes up
and down the columns, not reading, but, in a half-absent way, trying
to find something of sufficient interest to claim attention, when,
among the money and business items, I came upon a paragraph that
sent the declining thermometer of my feelings away down towards the
chill of zero. It touched, in the most vital part, my scheme of
gain; and the shrinking bubble burst.

"Have the goods sold to that new customer from Alton been
delivered?" I asked, as the real interest of my wasted day loomed up
into sudden importance.

"Yes, sir," was answered by one of my clerks; "they were sent to
Kline & Co.'s immediately. Mr. B----said they were packing up his
goods, which were to be shipped to-day."

"He's a safe man, I should think. Kline & Co. sell him." My voice
betrayed the doubt that came stealing over me like a chilly air.

"They sell him only for cash," said my clerk. "I saw one of their
young men this afternoon, and asked after Mr. B----'s standing. He
didn't know anything about him; said B----was a new man, who bought a
moderate cash bill, but was sending in large quantities of goods to
be packed--five or six times beyond the amount of his purchases with
them."

"Is that so!" I exclaimed, rising to my feet, all awake now to the
real things which I had permitted a shadow to obscure.

"Just what he told me," answered my clerk.

"It has a bad look," said I. "How large a bill did he make with us?"

The sales book was referred to. "Seventeen hundred dollars," replied
the clerk.

"What! I thought he was to buy only to the amount of a thousand
dollars?" I returned, in surprise and dismay.

"You seemed so easy about him, sir," replied the clerk, "that I
encouraged him to buy; and the bill ran up more heavily than I was
aware until the footing gave exact figures."

I drew out my watch. It was close on to half past six.

"I think, Edward," said I, "that you'd better step round to Kline &
Co.'s, and ask if they've shipped B----'s goods yet. If not, we'll
request them to delay long enough in the morning to give us time to
sift the matter. If B----'s after a swindling game, we'll take a short
course, and save our goods."

"It's too late," answered my clerk. "B----called a little after one
o'clock, and gave notes for the amount of his bill. He was to leave
in the five o'clock line for Boston."

I turned my face a little aside, so that Edward might not see all
the anxiety that was pictured there.

"You look very sober, Mr. Mayflower," said my good wife, gazing at
me with eyes a little shaded by concern, as I sat with Arty's head
leaning against my bosom that evening; "as sober as baby looked this
morning, after his fruitless shadow chase."

"And for the same reason," said I, endeavoring to speak calmly and
firmly.

"Why, Mr. Mayflower!" Her face betrayed a rising anxiety. My assumed
calmness and firmness did not wholly disguise the troubled feelings
that lay, oppressively, about my heart.

"For the same reason," I repeated, steadying my voice, and trying to
speak bravely. "I have been chasing a shadow all day; a mere phantom
scheme of profit; and at night-fall I not only lose my shadow, but
find my feet far off from the right path, and bemired. I called Arty
a foolish child this morning. I laughed at his mistake. But, instead
of accepting the lesson it should have conveyed, I went forth and
wearied myself with shadow-hunting all day."

Mrs. Mayflower sighed gently. Her soft eyes drooped away from my
face, and rested for some moments on the floor.

"I am afraid we are all, more or less, in pursuit of shadows," she
said,--"of the unreal things, projected by thought on the canvas of a
too creative imagination. It is so with me; and I sigh, daily, over
some disappointment. Alas! if this were all. Too often both the
shadow-good and the real-good of to-day are lost. When night falls
our phantom good is dispersed, and we sigh for the real good we
might have enjoyed."

"Shall we never grow wiser?" I asked.

"We shall never grow happier unless we do," answered Mrs. Mayflower.

"Happiness!" I returned, as thought began to rise into clearer
perception; "is it not the shadow after which we are all chasing,
with such a blind and headlong speed?"

"Happiness is no shadow. It is a real thing," said Mrs. Mayflower.
"It does not project itself in advance of us; but exists in the
actual and the now, if it exists at all. We cannot catch it by
pursuit; that is only a cheating counterfeit, in guilt and tinsel,
which dazzles our eyes in the ever receding future. No; happiness is
a state of life; and it comes only to those who do each day's work
peaceful self-forgetfulness, and a calm trust in the Giver of all
good for the blessing that lies stored for each one prepared to
receive it in every hour of the coming time."

"Who so does each day's work in a peaceful self-forgetfulness and
patient trust in God?" I said, turning my eyes away from the now
tranquil face of Mrs. Mayflower.

"Few, if any, I fear," she answered; "and few, if any, are happy.
The common duties and common things of our to-days look so plain and
homely in their ungilded actualities, that we turn our thought and
interest away from them, and create ideal forms of use and beauty,
into which we can never enter with conscious life. We are always
losing the happiness of our to-days; and our to-morrows never come."

I sighed my response, and sat for a long time silent. When the tea
bell interrupted me from my reverie, Arty lay fast asleep on my
bosom. As I kissed him on his way to his mother's arms, I said,--

"Dear baby! may it be your first and last pursuit of a shadow."

"No--no! Not yet, my sweet one!" answered Mrs. Mayflower, hugging him
to her heart. "Not yet. We cannot spare you from our world of
shadows."






II.

IN THE WAY OF TEMPTATION.





MARTIN GREEN was a young man of good habits and a good conceit of
himself. He had listened, often and again, with as much patience as
he could assume, to warning and suggestion touching the dangers that
beset the feet of those who go out into this wicked world, and
become subject to its legion of temptations. All these warnings and
suggestions he considered as so many words wasted when offered to
himself.

"I'm in no danger," he would sometimes answer to relative or friend,
who ventured a remonstrance against certain associations, or
cautioned him about visiting certain places.

"If I wish to play a game of billiards, I will go to a billiard
saloon," was the firm position he assumed. "Is there any harm in
billiards? I can't help it if bad men play at billiards, and
congregate in billiard saloons. Bad men may be found anywhere and
everywhere; on the street, in stores, at all public places, even in
church. Shall I stay away from church because bad men are there?"

This last argument Martin Green considered unanswerable. Then he
would say,--

"If I want a plate of oysters, I'll go to a refectory, and I'll take
a glass of ale with my oysters, if it so pleases me. What harm, I
would like to know? Danger of getting into bad company, you say?
Hum-m! Complimentary to your humble servant! But I'm not the kind to
which dirt sticks."

So, confident of his own power to stand safely in the midst of
temptation, and ignorant of its thousand insidious approaches,
Martin Green, at the age of twenty-one, came and went as he pleased,
mingling with the evil and the good, and seeing life under
circumstances of great danger to the pure and innocent. But he felt
strong and safe, confident of neither stumbling nor falling. All
around him he saw young men yielding to the pressure of temptation
and stepping aside into evil ways; but they were weak and vicious,
while he stood firm-footed on the rock of virtue!

It happened, very naturally, as Green was a bright, social young
man, that he made acquaintances with other young men, who were
frequently met in billiard saloons, theatre lobbies, and eating
houses. Some of these he did not understand quite as well as he
imagined. The vicious, who have ends to gain, know how to cloak
themselves, and easily deceive persons of Green's character. Among,
these acquaintances was a handsome, gentlemanly, affable young man,
named Bland, who gradually intruded himself into his confidence.
Bland never drank to excess, and never seemed inclined to sensual
indulgences. He had, moreover, a way of moralizing that completely
veiled his true quality from the not very penetrating Martin Green,
whose shrewdness and knowledge of character were far less acute than
he, in his self-conceit, imagined.

One evening, instead of going with his sister to the house of a
friend, where a select company of highly-intelligent ladies and
gentleman were to meet, and pass an evening together, Martin excused
himself under the pretence of an engagement, and lounged away to an
eating and drinking saloon, there to spend an hour in smoking,
reading the newspapers, and enjoying a glass of ale, the desire for
which was fast growing into a habit. Strong and safe as he imagined
himself, the very fact of preferring the atmosphere of a drinking or
billiard saloon to that in which refined and intellectual people
breathe, showed that he was weak and in danger.

He was sitting with a cigar in his mouth, and a glass of ale beside
him, reading with the air of a man who felt entirely satisfied with
himself, and rather proud than ashamed of his position and
surroundings, when his pleasant friend, Mr. Bland, crossed the room,
and, reaching out his hand, said, with his smiling, hearty manner,--

"How are you, my friend? What's the news to-day?" And he drew a
chair to the table, calling at the same time to a waiter for a glass
of ale.

"I never drink anything stronger than ale," he added, in a
confidential way, not waiting for Green to answer his first remark.
"Liquors are so drugged nowadays, that you never know what poison
you are taking; besides, tippling is a bad habit, and sets a
questionable example. We must, you know, have some regard to the
effect of our conduct on weaker people. Man is an imitative animal.
By the way, did you see Booth's Cardinal Wolsey?"

"Yes."

"A splendid piece of acting,--was it not? You remember, after the
cardinal's fall, that noble passage to which he gives utterance. It
has been running through my mind ever since:--"'Mark but my fall,
and that that ruined me.

Cromwell, I charge thee, fling away ambition:

By that sin fell the angels; how can man, then,

The image of his Maker, hope to win by't?

Love thyself last: Cherish those hearts that hate thee:

Corruption wins not more than honesty.

Still in thy right hand carry gentle peace,

To silence envious tongues; be just, and fear not.

Let all the ends thou aim'st at be thy country's,

Thy God's, and truth's; then if thou fall'st, O Cromwell,

Thou fall'st a blessed martyr.'

"'Love thyself last.--Let all the ends thou aim'st at be thy
country's, thy God's, and truth's.' Could a man's whole duty in life
be expressed in fewer words, or said more grandly? I think not."

And so he went on, charming the ears of Green, and inspiring him
with the belief that he was a person of the purest instincts and
noblest ends. While they talked, two young men, strangers to Green
came up, and were introduced by Bland as "My very particular
friends." Something about them did not at first impress Martin
favorably. But this impression soon wore off, they were so
intelligent and agreeable, Bland, after a little while, referred
again to the Cardinal Wolsey of Booth, and, drawing a copy of
Shakspeare's Henry VIII. from his pocket, remarked,--

"If it wasn't so public here, I'd like to read a few of the best
passages in Wolsey's part."

"Can't we get a private room?" said one of the two young men who had
joined Bland and Green. "There are plenty in the house. I'll see."

And away he went to the bar.

"Come," he said, returning in a few minutes; and the party followed
a waiter up stairs, and were shown into a small room, neatly
furnished, though smelling villanously of stale cigar smoke.

"This is cosy," was the approving remark of Bland, as they entered.
Hats and overcoats were laid aside, and they drew around a table
that stood in the centre of the room under the gaslight. A few
passages were read from Shakspeare, then drink was ordered by one of
the the party. The reading interspersed with critical comments, was
again resumed; but the reading soon gave way entire to the comments,
which, in a little while, passed from the text of Shakspeare to
actors, actresses, prima donnas, and ballet-dancers, the relative
merits of which were knowingly discussed for some time. In the midst
of this discussion, oysters, in two or three styles, and a smoking
dish of terrapin, ordered by a member of the company--which our young
friend Green did not know--were brought in, followed by a liberal
supply of wine and brandy. Bland expressed surprise, but accepted
the entertainment as quite agreeable to himself.

After the supper, cigars were introduced, and after the cigars,
cards. A few games were played for shilling stakes. Green, under the
influence of more liquor than his head could bear, and in the midst
of companions whose sphere he could not, in consequence, resist,
yielded in a new direction for him. Of gambling he had always
entertained a virtuous disapproval; yet, ere aware of the direction
in which he was drifting, he was staking money at cards, the sums
gradually increasing, until from shillings the ventures increased to
dollars. Sometimes he won, and sometimes he lost; the winnings
stimulating to new trials in the hope of further success, and the
losses stimulating to new trials in order to recover, if possible;
but, steadily, the tide, for all these little eddies of success,
bore him downwards, and losses increased from single dollars to
fives, and from fives to tens, his pleasant friend, Bland, supplying
whatever he wanted in the most disinterested way, until an aggregate
loss of nearly a hundred and fifty dollars sobered and appalled him.

The salary of Martin Green was only four hundred dollars, every cent
of which was expended as fast as earned. A loss of a hundred and
fifty dollars was, therefore, a serious and embarrassing matter.

"I'll call and see you to-morrow, when we can arrange this little
matter," said Mr. Bland, "on parting with Green at his own door. He
spoke pleasantly, but with something in his voice that chilled the
nerves of his victim. On the next day while Green stood at his desk,
trying to fix his mind upon his work, and do it correctly, his
employer said,--

"Martin, there's a young man in the store who has asked for you."

Green turned and saw the last man on the earth he desired to meet.
His pleasant friend of the evening before had called to "arrange
that little matter."

"Not too soon for you, I hope," remarked Bland, with his courteous,
yet now serious, smile, as he took the victim's hand.

"Yes, you _are_, too soon," was soberly answered.

The smile faded off of Bland's face.

"When will you arrange it?"

"In a few days."

"But I want the money to-day. It was a simple loan, you know."

"I am aware of that, but the amount is larger than I can manage at
once," said Green.

"Can I have a part to-day?"

"Not to-day."

"To-morrow, then?"

"I'll do the best in my power."

"Very well. To-morrow, at this time, I will call. Make up the whole
sum if possible, for I want it badly."

"Do you know that young man?" asked Mr. Phillips, the employer of
Green, as the latter came back to his desk. The face of Mr. Phillips
was unusually serious.

"His name is Bland."

"Why has he called to see you?" The eyes of Mr. Phillips were fixed
intently on his clerk.

"He merely dropped in. I have met him a few times in company."

"Don't you know his character?"

"I never heard a word against him," said Green.

"Why, Martin!" replied Mr. Phillips, "he has the reputation of being
one of the worst young men in our city; a base gambler's
stool-pigeon, some say."

"I am glad to know it, sir," Martin had the presence of mind, in the
painful confusion that overwhelmed him, to say, "and shall treat him
accordingly." He went back to his desk, and resumed his work.

It is the easiest thing in the world to go to astray, but always
difficult to return, Martin Green was astray, but how was he to get
into the right path again? A barrier that seemed impassable was now
lying across the way over which he had passed, a little while
before, with lightest footsteps. Alone and unaided, he could not
safely get back. The evil spirits that lure a man from virtue never
counsel aright when to seek to return. They magnify the perils that
beset the road by which alone is safety, and suggest other ways that
lead into labyrinths of evil from which escape is sometimes
impossible. These spirits were now at the ear of our unhappy young
friend, suggesting methods of relief in his embarrassing position.

If Bland were indeed such a character as Mr. Phillips had
represented him, it would be ruin, in his employer's estimation, to
have him call again and again for his debt. But how was he to
liquidate that debt? There was nothing due him on account of salary,
and there was not a friend or acquaintance to whom he could apply
with any hope of borrowing.

"Man's extremity is the devil's opportunity." It was so in the
present case, Green had a number of collections to make on that day,
and his evil counsellors suggested his holding back the return of
two of these, amounting to his indebtedness, and say that the
parties were not yet ready to settle their bills. This would enable
him to get rid of Bland, and gain time. So, acting upon the bad
suggestion, he made up his return of collections, omitting the two
accounts to which we have referred.

Now it so happened that one of the persons against whom these
accounts stood, met Mr. Phillips as he was returning from dinner in
the afternoon, and said to him,--

"I settled that bill of yours to-day."

"That's right. I wish all my customers were as punctual," answered
Mr. Phillips.

"I gave your young man a check for a hundred and five dollars."

"Thank you."

And the two men passed their respective ways.

On Mr. Phillips's return to his store, Martin rendered his account
of collections, and, to the surprise of his employer, omitted the
one in regard to which he had just been notified.

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