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The Adventures of Roderick Random

T >> Tobias Smollett >> The Adventures of Roderick Random





But this expedient was in a few weeks followed with a consequence
I did not foresee. A player, having purchased one of the suits
that were exposed to sale, appeared in it on the stage one night,
while my tailor unfortunately happened to be present. He knew it
immediately, and, inquiring minutely into the affair, discovered
my whole contrivance: upon which he came into my lodgings, and
telling me that he was very much straightened for want of money,
presented his bill, which amounted to fifty pounds. Surprised at
which unexpected address, I affected to treat him cavalierly, swore
some oaths, asked if he doubted my honour, and telling him I should
take care whom I dealt with for the future, bade him come again
in three days. He obeyed me punctually, demanded his money, and
finding himself amused with bare promises, arrested me that very day
in the street. I was not much shocked at this adventure, which,
indeed, put an end to a state of horrible expectation: but I refused
to go to a sponging-house, where I heard there was nothing but the
most flagrant imposition: and, a coach being called, was carried
to the Marshalsea, attended by a bailiff and his follower, who were
very much disappointed and chagrined at my resolution.

The turnkey, guessing from my appearance that I had money in my
pocket, received me with the repetition of the Latin word depone,
and gave me to understand, that I must pay beforehand for the apartment
I should choose to dwell in. I desired to see his conveniences, and
hired a small paltry bed-chamber for a crown a week, which, in any
other place, would not have let for half the money. Having taken
possession of this dismal habitation, I sent for Strap, and my
thoughts were busied in collecting matter of consolation to that
faithful squire, when somebody knocked at my door, which I no
sooner opened, than a young fellow entered in very shabby clothes
and marvellous foul linen. After a low bow, he called me by name,
and asked if I had forgotten him. His voice assisted me in recollecting
his person, whom I soon recognised to be my old acquaintance,
Jackson, of whom mention is made in the first part of my memoirs.
I saluted him cordially, expressed my satisfaction at finding him
alive, and condoled him on his present situation, which, however,
did not seem to affect him much, for he laughed very heartily at the
occasion of our meeting so unexpectedly in this place. Our mutual
compliments being past, I inquired about his amour with the lady
of fortune, which seemed to be so near a happy conclusion when I
had the pleasure of seeing him last: and, after an immoderate fit
of laughter, he gave me to understand that he had been egregiously
bit in that affair. "You must know," said he, "that a few days
after our adventure with the bawd, and her b--ches, I found means
to be married to that same blue lady you speak of, and passed the
night with her at her lodgings, so much to her satisfaction, that
early in the morning, after a good deal of snivelling and sobbing,
she owned, that, far from being an heiress of great fortune, she
was no other than a common woman of the town, who had decoyed me
into matrimony, in order to enjoy the privilege of a femme couverte;
and that, unless I made my escape immediately, I should be arrested
for a debt of her contracting, by bailigs employed and instructed for
that purpose. Startled at this intimation, I rose in a twinkling,
and taking leave of my spouse with several hearty damns, got
safe into the verge of the court, where I kept snug, until I was
appointed surgeon's mate of a man-of-war at Portsmouth; for which
place I set out on Sunday, went on board of my ship, in which
I sailed to the Straits, where I had the good fortune to be made
surgeon of a sloop that came home a few months after, and was put
out of commission: whereupon, I came to London, imagining myself
forgotten, and freed from my wife and her creditors, but had not
been in town a week, before I was arrested for a debt of hers,
amounting to twenty pounds, and brought to this place, where I have
been fixed by another action since that time. However, you know
my disposition, I defy care and anxiety; and being on the half-pay
list, make shift to live here tolerably easy." I congratulated him
on his philosophy, and, remembering that I was in his debt, repaid
the money he formerly lent me, which, I believe, was far from being
unseasonable. I then inquired about the economy of the place, which
he explained to my satisfaction; and, after we had agreed to mess
together, he was just now going to give orders for dinner when
Strap arrived.

I never in my life saw sorrow so extravagantly expressed in any
countenance as in that of my honest friend, which was, indeed,
particularly adapted by nature for such impressions. When we were
left by ourselves, I communicated to him my disaster, and endeavoured
to console him with the same arguments he had formerly used to me,
withal representing the fair chance I had of being relieved in a
short time by Mr. Bowling. But his grief was unutterable: he seemed
to give attention without listening, and wrung his hands in silence;
so that I was in a fair way of being infected by his behaviour, when
Jackson returned, and, perceiving the deference I paid to Strap,
although in a footman's habit, distributed his crumbs of comfort
with such mirth, jollity and unconcern, that the features of
the distressed squire relaxed by degrees; he recovered the use of
speech, and began to be a little more reconciled to this lamentable
event. We dined together on boiled beef and greens, brought from
a cook's shop in the neighbourhood, and, although this meal was
served up in a manner little corresponding with the sphere of life
in which I had lately lived, I made a virtue of necessity, ate
with good appetite, and treated my friends with a bottle of wine,
which had the desired effect of increasing the good humour of my
fellow prisoner, and exhilarating the spirits of Strap, who now
talked cavalierly of my misfortune.

After dinner Jackson left us to our private affairs; when I desired
my friend to pack up all our things, and carry them to some cheap
lodgings he should choose for himself in the neighbourhood of the
Marshalsea, after he had discharged my lodgings, for which purpose
I gave him money. I likewise recommended to him the keeping
my misfortune secret, and saying to my landlord, or any other who
should inquire for me, that I was gone into the country for a few
weeks: at the same time I laid strong injunctions upon him to call
every second day upon Banter, in case he should receive any letter
for me from Narcissa, by the channel of Freeman; and by all means
to leave a direction for himself at my uncle's lodgings in Wapping,
by which I might be found when my kinsman should arrive.

When he departed to execute these orders (which by the bye were
punctually performed that very night), I found myself so little
seasoned to my situation, that I dreaded reflection, and sought
shelter from it in the company of the beau, who, promising to
regale me with a lecture upon taste, conducted me to the common
side, where I saw a number of naked miserable wretches assembled
together. We had not been here many minutes, when a figure appeared,
wrapped in a dirty rug, tied about his loins with two pieces of
list, of different colours, knotted together; having a black bushy
beard, and his head covered with a huge mass of brown periwig,
which seems to have been ravished from the crown of some scarecrow.
This apparition, stalking in with great solemnity, made a profound
bow to the audience, who signified their approbation by a general
response of "How d'ye do, doctor!" He then turned towards us,
and honoured Jackson with a particular salutation, upon which my
friend, in a formal manner, introduced him to me by the name of Mr.
Melopoyn. This ceremony being over, he advanced into the middle
of the congregation, which crowded around him, and hemming three
times, to my utter astonishment, pronounced with great significance
of voice and gesture, a very elegant and ingenious discourse upon
the difference between genius and taste, illustrating his assertions
with apt quotations from the best authors, ancient as well as modern.
When he had finished his harangue, which lasted a full hour, he
bowed again to the spectators; not one of whom (I was informed)
understood so much as a sentence of what he had uttered. They
manifested, however, their admiration and esteem by voluntary
contributions, which Jackson told me, one week with another, amounted
to eighteen pence. This moderate stipend, together with some small
presents that he received for making up differences and deciding
causes amongst the prisoners, just enabled him to breathe and walk
about in the grotesque figure I have described. I understood also,
that he was an excellent poet, and had composed a tragedy, which was
allowed by everybody who had seen it to be a performance of great
merit: that his learning was infinite, his morals unexceptionable,
and his modesty invincible. Such a character could not fail of
attracting my regard; I longed impatiently to be acquainted with
him, and desired Jackson would engage him to spend the evening
in my apartment. My request was granted; he favoured us with his
company, and, in the course of our conversation perceiving that I
had a strong passion for the Belles Lettres, acquitted himself so
well on that subject, that I expressed a fervent desire of seeing
his productions. In this point too he gratified my inclination;
he promised to bring his tragedy to my room next day, and in the
meantime, entertained me with some detached pieces, which gave me a
very advantageous idea of his poetical talent. Among other things
I was particularly pleased with some elegies, in imitation of
Tibullus; one of which I beg leave to submit to the reader as a
specimen of his complexion and capacity:--

Where now are all my flattering dreams of joy?
Monimia, give my soul her wonted rest;--
Since first thy beauty fixed my roving eye,
heart-gnawing cares corrode my pensive breast!

Let happy lovers fly where pleasures call,
With festive songs beguile the fleeting hour,
Lead beauty through the mazes of the ball,
Or press her wanton in love's roseate bower:

For me, no more I'll range the empurpled mead,
Where shepherd's pipe and virgins dance around,
Nor wander through the woodbine's fragrant shade,
To hear the music of the grove resound.

I'll seek some lonely church, or dreary hall,
Where fancy paints the glimmering taper blue,
Where damps hang mouldering on the ivy'd wall,
And sheeted ghosts drink up the midnight dew,

There, leagued with hopeless anguish and despair,
A while in silence o'er my fate repair:
Then, with a long farewell to love and care,
To kindred dust my weary limbs consign.

Wilt thou, Monimia, shed a gracious tear
On the cold grave where all my sorrows rest?
Strew vernal flowers, applaud my love sincere,
And bid the turf lie easy on my breast?


I was wonderfully affected with this pathetic complaint, which
seemed so well calculated for my own disappointment in love, that
I could not help attaching the idea of Narcissa to the name of
Monimia, and of forming such melancholy presages of my passion, that
I could not recover my tranquillity: and was fain to have recourse
to the bottle, which prepared me for a profound sleep that I could
not otherwise have enjoyed. Whether these impressions invited and
introduced a train of other melancholy reflections, or my fortitude
was all exhausted in the effort I made against despondence, during
the first day of my imprisonment, I cannot determine; but I awoke
in the horrors, and found my imagination haunted with such dismal
apparitions, that I was ready to despair: and I believe the render
will own, I had no great cause to congratulate myself, when I
considered my situation. I was interrupted in the midst of these
gloomy apprehensions by the arrival of Strap, who contributed not
a little to the re-establishment of my peace, by letting me know
that he had hired himself as a journeyman barber; by which means
he would be able not only to save me a considerable expense, but
even make shift to lay up something for my subsistence, after my
money should be spent, in case I should. not be relieved before.





CHAPTER LXII




I read Melopoyn's Tragedy, and conceive a vast Opinion of his
Genius--he recounts his Adventures


While we ate our breakfast together, I made him acquainted with
the character and condition of the poet, who came in with his play
at that instant, and, imagining we were engaged about business,
could not be prevailed upon to sit; but, leaving his performance,
went away. My friend's tender heart was melted at the sight of
a gentleman and Christian (for he had a great veneration for both
these epithets) in such misery; and assented with great cheerfulness
to a proposal I made of clothing him with the our superfluities;
a task with which he charged himself, and departed immediately to
perform it.

He was to sooner gone than I locked my door, and sat down to the
tragedy; which I read to the end with vast pleasure, not a little
amazed at conduct of the managers who had rejected it. The fable,
in my opinion, was well chosen and naturally conducted, the incidents
interesting, the characters beautifully contrasted, strongly marked,
and well supported; the diction poetical, spirited and correct; the
unities of the drama maintained with the most scrupulous exactness;
the opening gradual and engaging, the peripeteia surprising, and
the catastrophe affecting, In short, I judged it by the laws of
Aristotle and Horace, and could find nothing in it exceptionable but
a little too much embellishment in some few places, which objection
he removed to my satisfaction, by a quotation of Aristotle's poetics,
importing, that the least interesting parts of a poem ought to be
raised and dignified by the charms and energy of diction.

I revered his genius, and was seized with an eager curiosity to
know the particular events of a fortune so unworthy of his merit.
At that instant Strap returned with a bundle of clothes, which I
sent with my compliments to Mr. Melopoyn, as s small token of my
regard, and desired the favour of his company to dinner. He accepted
my present and invitation, and in less than half-an-hour made his
appearance in a decent dress, which altered his figure very much to
his advantage. I perceived by his countenance that his heart was
big with gratitude, and endeavoured to prevent his acknowledgments,
by asking pardon for the liberty I had taken; he made no reply,
but, with an aspect full of admiration and esteem, bowed to the
ground, while the tears gushed from his eyes. Affected with these
symptoms of an ingenuous mind, I shifted the conversation, and
complimented him on his performance, which I assured him afforded
me infinite pleasure. My approbation made him happy. Dinner being
served, and Jackson arrived, I begged their permission for Strap
to sit at table with us, after having informed them that he was
a person to whom I was extremely obliged; they were kind enough
to grant that favour, and we ate together with great harmony and
satisfaction.

Our meal being ended, I expressed my wonder at the little regard
Mr. Melopoyn had met with from the world: and signified a desire of
hearing how he had been treated by the managers of the playhouses,
to whom I understood from Jackson, he had offered his tragedy
without success. "There is so little entertaining in the incidents
of my life," said he, "that I am sure the recital will not recompense
your attention; but, since you discover an inclination to know them
I understand my duty too well to disappoint your desire.

"My father, who was a curate in the country, being by the narrowness
of his circumstances hindered from maintaining me at the university,
took the charge of my education upon himself, and laboured with
such industry and concern in the undertaking, that I had little
cause to regret the want of public masters. Being at great pains to
consult my natural bias, He discovered in me betimes an inclination
for poetry; upon which he recommended to me an intimate acquaintance
with the classics, in the cultivation of which he assisted me
with a paternal zeal and uncommon erudition. When he thought me
sufficiently acquainted with the ancients, he directed my studies
to the best modern authors, French and Italian as well as English,
and laid, and laid a particular injunction upon me make myself
master of my mother tongue.

"About the age of eighteen, I grew ambitious of undertaking a work
of some consequence; and, with my father's approbation, actually
planned the tragedy you have read; but, before I had finished four
acts, that indulgent parent died, and left my mother and me in
very indigent circumstances. A near relation, compassionating our
distress, took us into his family, where I brought my fable to
a conclusion; and, soon after that period my mother quitted this
life. When my sorrow for this melancholy event had subsided, I
told my kinsman, who was a farmer, that, having paid my last duty
to my parent, I had now no attachment to detain me in the country,
and therefore was resolved to set out for London, and offer my play
to the stage, where I did not doubt of acquiring a large share of
fame as well as fortune; in which case I should not be unmindful
of my friends and benefactors. My cousin was ravished with the
prospect of my felicity, and willingly contributed towards the
expense of fitting me out for my expedition.

"Accordingly I took a place in the waggon, and arrived in town,
where I hired an apartment in a garret, willing to live as frugally
as possible, until I should know what I had to expect from the
manager, to whom I intended to offer my play. For, though I looked
upon myself as perfectly secure of a good reception, imagining
that a patentee would be as eager to receive as I to present my
production, I did not know whether or not he might be pre-engaged
in favour of another author, a circumstance that would certainly
retard my success. On this consideration, too, I determined to be
speedy in my application, and even to wait upon one of the managers
the very next day. For this purpose, I inquired my landlord if he
knew where either or both of them lived: and he, being curious to
know my business, and at the same time appearing to be a very honest
friendly man (a tallow chandler), I made him acquainted with my
design, upon which he told me that I went the wrong way to work;
that I would not find such easy access to a manager as I imagined;
and that if I delivered my performance without proper recommendation, it
would be as one to a thousand if ever it would be minded. "Take my
advice," said he, "and your business is done. One of the patentees
is a good catholic, as I am, and uses the same father who confesses
me. I will make you acquainted with this good priest, who is
an excellent scholar, and if he should approve of your play, his
recommendation will go a great way in determining Mr. Supple to
bring it on the stage." I applauded his expedient, and was introduced
to the friar, who, having perused the tragedy, was pleased to
signify his approbation, and commended me in particular for having
avoided all reflections upon religion. He promised to use all his
influence with his son Supple in my behalf, and to inform himself
that very day at what time it was proper for me to wait upon him
with the piece. He was punctual in performing his engagement, and
next morning gave me to understand that he had mentioned my affair
to the manager, and that I had nothing more to do than to go to
his house any time in the forenoon, and make use of his name, upon
which I should find immediate admittance. I took his advice, put
my performance in my bosom, and, having received directions, went
immediately to the house of Mr. Supple, and knocked at the door,
which had a wicket in the middle, faced with a net-work of iron.
Through this a servant having viewed me for some time, demanded
to know my business. I told him my business was with Mr. Supple,
and that I came from Mr. O'Varnish. He examined my appearance once
more, then went away, returned in a few minutes, and said his master
was busy, and could not be seen. Although I was a little mortified
at my disappointment, I was persuaded that my reception was owing
to Mr. Supple's ignorance of my errand: and, that I might meet with
no more obstructions of the same kind, I desired Mr. O'Varnish to
be my introductor the next time. He complied with my request, and
obtained immediate admittance to the manager, who received me with
the utmost civility, and promised to read my play with the first
convenience. By his own appointment I called again in a fortnight,
but he was gone out: I returned in a week after, and the poor
gentleman was extremely ill: I renewed my visit in a fortnight
after that, and he assured me he had been so much fatigued with
business, that he had not been able as yet to read it to an end,
but he would take the first opportunity: and, in the meantime,
observed that what he had yet seen of it was very entertaining. I
comforted myself with this declaration a few weeks longer, at the
end of which I appeared again before his wicket, was let in, and
found him laid up with the gout. I no sooner entered his chamber
than, looking at me with a languishing eye, he said, "Mr. Melopoyn,
I'm heartily sorry for an accident that has happened during my
illness. You must know that my eldest boy, finding your manuscript
upon the table in the dining-room, where I used to read it, carried
it into the kitchen, and leaving it there, a negligent wench of a
cook-maid, mistaking it for waste paper, has expended it but a few
leaves in singing fowls upon the spit. But I hope the misfortune
is not irreparable, since, no doubt, you have several copies."

"I protest to you, my good friend, Mr. Random, I was extremely
shocked at this information; but the good-natured gentleman seemed
to be so much affected with my misfortune, that I suppressed my
concern, and told him that, although I had not another copy, I should
be able to retrieve the loss by writing another from my memory, which
was very tenacious. You cannot imagine how well pleased Mr. Supple
was at this assurance; he begged I would set about it immediately,
and carefully revolve and recollect every circumstance before I
pretended to commit it to paper, that it might be the same individual
play that he had perused. Encouraged by this injunction, which
plainly demonstrated how much he interested himself in the affair,
I tasked my remembrance and industry, and in three weeks produced
the exact image of the former, which was conveyed to him by my
good friend Father O'Varnish, who told me next day, that Mr. Supple
would revise it superficially, in order to judge of its sameness
with the other, and then give his final answer. For this examination
I allotted a week: and, in full confidence of seeing it acted in a
little while, demanded an audience of the manager, when that term
was expired. But, alas! the season had slipped away insensibly. He
convinced me, that if my play had been put into rehearsal at the
time, it could not have been ready for performing until the end
of March, when the benefit nights came on; consequently, it would
have interfered with the interest of the players, whom it was not
my business to disoblige.

"I was fain to acquiesce in these reasons, which, to be sure, were
extremely just; and to reserve my performance for the next season,
when he hoped I would not be so unlucky. Although it was a grievous
disappointment to me, who, by this time, began to want both money
and necessaries; having on the strength of my expectation from the
theatre, launched out into some extravagances, by which the sum I
brought to town was already almost consumed. Indeed, I ought to be
ashamed at this circumstance of my conduct; for my finances were
sufficient, with good economy, to have maintained me comfortably
a whole year. You will perhaps be amazed when I tell you that, in
six months, I expended not a farthing less than ten guineas: but,
when one considers the temptations to which a young man is exposed
in this great city, especially if he be addicted to pleasure, as
I am, the wonder will vanish, or at least abate. Nor was the cause
of my concern limited to my own situation entirely: I had written
an account of my good reception to my kinsman the farmer, and desired
him to depend upon me for the money he had kindly accommodated me
with about the end of February, which promise I now found myself
unable to perform. However, there was no remedy but patience: I
applied to my landlord, who was a very good-natured man, candidly
owned my distress, and begged his advice in laying down some plan
for my subsistence; he readily promised to consult his confessor
on this subject, and, in the meantime, told me, I was welcome to
lodge and board with him until fortune should put it in my power
to make restitution.

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